Author: Paul

Having struggled to reach my target yesterday, I was pleased to find the time today to get a chunk of writing done and am now at the six-thousand word mark, which is just scratching the surface but is at least still on the target for the rest of the month.
My plan is to write one chapter a day (making each chapter approximately three thousand words) as it feels like a clear cut off point each day. I definitely work better in the morning than trying to drag myself over the finish line later in the day. I wrote about 3,700 words today and the easiest part of it came in the 3,300 I wrote earlier in the day than the final portion I decided to put in after dinner and a couple of beers.
I had to do a decent amount of research (mostly the very legitimate historical source Wikipedia) to find out about the Nazis at the top of the pile, those who Hitler trusted. I’m yet to even introduce my two main characters. It felt necessary to set the scene historically which has now been done.
Tomorrow, we delve into the exciting world of chocolate production.

It’s been a month or so since I updated my blog. It felt like a good time to go for it as I have been bitten once more by the writing bug.

For April 2021, I will be attempting something stupid, a 90,000 word first draft of a novel that I am currently calling Death By Chocolate. It’s based on the Nazi plan (recently uncovered) to kill Winston Churchill by planting an explosive device inside a bar of chocolate. Apparently the old dog had a sweet tooth.
While there are elements of historical fact in there, the story itself is fictional and follows the unlikely pairing of a Belgian chocolatier brought in to design the chocolate and a young Jewish girl on the run who is mistaken for his assistant and forced into the Wolf’s Lair (that’s what Hitler completely unironically called his base). It’s a dark comedy in the same realm as my previous historical fiction piece, The Counterfeiter of Auschwitz.
I’ve come to realise that this period of history interests me massively and there remain a wealth of stories from that time that are still being uncovered and I am delighted to research and write them.

I hope one day to be able to share it but for now, that’s all you’re getting. I’ll update as often as I can on where I’ve got to in the writing process.
Today I’m calling it at 2,280 words. It’s been a long day and I spent upwards of nine hours staring at a screen for work so the thought of doing anything else was already a lot. Either way, it’s a good start and I hope to get ahead of my planned 3,000 words a day this weekend to get this draft done by the end of April. It’s a lofty ambition but if there’s anyone stupid enough to give it a go then it’s me.

Today is my birthday.
For months, in lockdown, I’ve been working on an album, my fourth, and it seemed like today was as good a day as any to allow it to see the light of day.

How Do You Feel? comprises of ten songs written over the last fifteen years. It’s entirely possible that could be a person’s lifetime. For me, it represents the time during which I have been writing songs. The fact I was able to dig all the way back into those dusty Schiernecker archives and pull these songs out suggests one of two things, I haven’t developed as a songwriter in any way, shape or form or I have a level of consistency to my work that many artists strive for.

I suppose the key thing across these songs is the change in subject matter. I went through a stage where I thought that all rock songs had to be about one of the three things defined by Ian Dury in 1977.
Some of the later songs that make up this album (later as in I wrote them later rather than they are later tracks through the album) are about such varied subjects as trains, escalators and consent.

When I was eighteen/nineteen, I was in a very unsuccessful (even by our campus standards) two/three man band, The Consequences. At least one of those songs is on this album and I send my love to Marc and that time I upset all the twirleys and we were asked to leave through the tradesman’s entrance.

It’s also possible to track various relationships, romantic or otherwise, through these songs. While things may have changed and my involvement with those individuals may have fallen by the wayside, I hope it’s with a sense of warmth if they can sense their signature on a song.

Aside from that, I wanted to do this for myself. The last year has been tough and having projects to focus on has been a little wonder. I have no intentions with this album aside from doing it because I can. It might not be perfect, but it’s mine.

How Do You Feel? is available to download now through Bandcamp and will be on Spotify in the coming days.

This week, Mark Kermode covered feel-good films on his podcast.
It got me thinking about the films that I turn to when the world is a little consistently too much. If you need an example of a time when that might have been the case, now would be a good time.
I read elsewhere that people have turned to things they know, the familiar, comfort in all kinds of forms. I find the reclusive life fits me just fine (up to a point) and it’s been a great opportunity to work on some projects.
That said, these are my go-to feel good films.

When Harry Met Sally
I was originally introduced to WHMS (as I’m sure everyone else calls it) by my grandfather. He told me that there was an important lesson in there, that men and women can never really be friends because sex always gets in the way. When I had got over the shock of my grandpa even mentioning sex, I put the video on and was blown away by so many aspects of it. It’s one of, if not the best, romantic comedy of all time. Both Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan are fantastic. There’s a believability to their relationship and Harry’s “dark side” is something I can specifically feel in my cold, bleak soul. It doesn’t matter if it’s the Harry Connick Jr. soundtrack or the Pictionary game that wills Baby Fishmouth into existence, it’s a wonderful, funny and comforting joy.

Almost Famous
There was a time, and I’m not proud of this, when I would put Almost Famous on if I was entertaining and wanted to make my move. I have a very good friend who would put Super Troopers on so I don’t feel like the worst person in the world as a result of my choice.
My thinking was that the free love nature of the 1970s would surely lead to some loosening of the belt buckles.
What I came to learn is that Almost Famous means more to me that the simple frustrations of a horny, teenage boy. It’s a love letter to music and everything that comes with it. With an incredible cast, some great songs and a legacy of dialogue that loops in my day-to-day, Almost Famous is a film for the ages. I certainly won’t be selling it to Humble Pie for $50 and a case of beer.

Hook
When I was a child, Robin Williams was magic to us. So much so that when we went to see Jumanji at the cinema, my brother was confused about why Williams didn’t fly away from the baying alligators when the monsoon floods the old Parish place. He knew Williams as Pan. That comes from his smashing tights. I know Spielberg isn’t a fan of it but Hook is an unbridled, melodramatic joy from start to finish. Dustin Hoffman is so crooked and evil, Bob Hoskins is fantastic alongside him. Maggie Smith makes a wonderful Wendy and I recall having weird and confusing feelings about Tinkerbell. I can’t wait to show this film to my niece and nephews in the hopes that the fantasy carries them away in the way it did for me.

About Time
If I am in the need for a good cry then Richard Curtis is always a good person to turn to. I know he gets flack but there’s a reason he is in the position he is and it’s because his ability to set up and destroy is beyond the majority of other talents. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone but that scene towards the end with the table tennis absolutely destroys me each and every time I watch it. Family dynamics in film turn me from a solid to a liquid.
About Time also has the second-best use of Mr. Brightside in a rom-com that I know of.
(In case you are wondering, the best use is when Cameron Diaz is singing it in The Holiday).

Amelie
When I first started trying to impress people by being a pretentious little know-it-all, Amelie was an easy win for me. It was another shot in the heart for my love of Paris and it introduced me to Audrey Tautou.
I once visited the cafe from the film in the hopes of getting a Creme Brûlée and living my bohemian best life. The service was terrible.
The film is a study of character and people and it’s so festive in tone that it’s hard to separate it from Christmas.

Shawshank Redemption
While there is a lot of Shawshank before you get to the Redemption, the pay off is astounding. It makes me want to stand on the sofa and salute the television as if I’m an errant schoolboy in another feel-good classic and scream “Oh Captain, my Captain” at the wonder of its storytelling.
It’s one of those films that just happens to be on and there’s no way to avoid sitting with it until the end. It was several years of watching it before I ever saw the opening credits. It’s aged very well and remains an important lesson on patience and time. Saying that, Brooks’ storyline is the saddest element of the whole thing.

Notting Hill
Back to Richard Curtis, and a film that it so aware of what it is doing that it comes close to Ocean’s 12 levels of meta. It might not be the first of his films that you think of but the combination of a blustering Hugh Grant at his floppiest, Julia Roberts being lovely, Rhys Ifans being weird and the backdrop of a part of London that looks more beautiful that I can ever recall it, there’s nothing not to enjoy about this.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
As a teenager, I wanted to be Ferris. His slacker persona was a go-to and his version of Twist & Shout is the second-best I’ve heard. When you accompany that with Sloane Peterson being a stone-cold fox, and Cameron Frye being one of the best sidekick characters of all time, it’s a celebration of what it means to be young and how to get one over on those square old teachers and parents.
There had to be a John Hughes film in here because he defined the time.

School Of Rock
There are lines in this film that live rent-free in my head. Dialogue that has become a running joke with my brother for the last decade. I wonder what it looked like on paper and if anyone other than Jack Black could have pulled it off. While he had a list of credits to his name, there’s no doubt that it sent him into the stratosphere and hopefully introduced a lot of kids to a lot of cool music via the soundtrack. I wonder what the uptake in guitar lessons was after this came out.
It’s a reminder to salute the gods of rock and that you’re not hardcore unless you live hardcore.

The Social Network
A film about Facebook shouldn’t work. I reacted to news of it in a similar way to the announcement of The Emoji Movie. Janky attempts at a cultural development that would be old before it could land (I’m looking at you, Wreck It Ralph 2).
Instead, we got one of the best films of the last twenty years.
I don’t know where to begin with this film. It’s got one of the most incredible combinations of young talent starring in it. Jesse Eisenberg, Rooney Mara, Andrew Garfield, Justin Timberlake, Dakota Johnson. On top of that, it was directed by David Fincher, from a script by Aaron Sorkin and a book by Ben Mezrich. The soundtrack is by Atticus Ross and Trent Reznor. It’s high calibre all along the way. A fast-paced legal drama that stung like a fall into a hornet’s nest.
So why have I put it in a list of feelgood films?
For a year, and I’m not exaggerating, I fell asleep with The Social Network on. I would put it on and the witty pace of the dialogue and the pulse of the score would send me off. I became the equivalent of that woman who confessed to watching Bee Movie 357 times in a year.
I watch it awake and am astounded by it. I watch it asleep and am comforted by it. I rest my case.

Inside Out
When it comes to comfort, and probably also letting the boohoos out, nobody does it quite like Pixar. I hear that they have a formula to which they build all of their films out and it’s designed to exhibit the highest emotional response. If Soul, Onward, Coco, Toy Story 4, Inside Out, Toy Story 3, Up, Wall-E, Monster’s Inc, Finding Nemo have one thing in common, it’s that they made me sob. The fact is they have many things in common including beautiful cinematography, great score, clever characters and concepts, driven stories and barely any humans.
I wish I could gift myself Inside Out when I was around ten, and very confused about the various sad feelings I had. The way they’re able to explain the need for all feelings and to validate them is astounding. I cannot praise this film enough.

Matilda
If you don’t love Matilda then you are wrong. I was just the right age for it. I was also a bookworm who dreamt of having superpowers and escaping my family (who aren’t anything like the Wormwoods). It’s narrated by and directed by Danny DeVito, who I found out recently cared for Mara Wilson (alongside his then wife Rhea Perlman) during filming after her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. DeVito even took a rough cut of the film to the hospital so Suzie Wilson could see her daughter’s portrayal of Matilda.
DeVito being a wonderful human being aside, Matilda is a physically magical film. It’s got so much charm and love thrown at it. It’s silly and scary in a way that practical effects seem to cover better than their computer-generated counterparts. Pam Ferris is absolutely terrifying as Trunchbull and Miss Honey was an obvious crush for me.
Seeing what an amazing woman Mara Wilson has become only makes me love it more.

It’s A Wonderful Life
No list of feel-good films is complete without this story of attempted suicide.
To sandwich my list nicely, this film was introduced to me by my grandmother. She was amazed that there was a colourised version of it and told me I had to watch both, starting with the black and white.
George Bailey feels trapped by the world he has created for himself but the gift that Clarence gives him, in showing him what the world would be like if he wasn’t there to partake in it, gives me a joy I cannot lasso for myself.

It will come as no surprise that in the last ten months, I have been absorbing a lot of “media”. I’ve taken not just to reading but also to listening to audiobooks through BorrowBox. I’ve got access to many streaming platforms. My Spotify Wrapped 2020 was an ungodly number of hours of podcasts and songs enjoyed.
This has been covered better elsewhere but it came to me as a shower thought this morning so I wanted to get it down. Where would we be without all of that? Right now?

Being able to read Michelle Obama’s book or listen to Carey Mulligan read Matt Haig’s latest to me. Having My Favorite Murder, Armchair Expert and The Comedian’s Tea Party on in the background while I work. Hours and hours of the same albums on to give me some sense of normality while I do anything at all – thank you Arcade Fire, Father John Misty, Charlie’s Hand Movements and Bruce Springsteen.

Again, it’s been said before but let’s keep all this in mind when the tide changes and we are able to do anything. I miss going to gigs and I miss bookshops. I miss sitting in coffee shops and writing, like the pretentious character I am. I would even go and sit in a theatre and watch some am dram production as long as it was done with love and the subtext wasn’t Brexit.
For someone who hates shopping, I kind of miss aspects of that too. The richer Bezos becomes, the more likely he’s going to go full supervillain.
I look forward to a time where we can put our money where our mouths are and support the arts again.
For now, I’m absorbing all I can.

Every January, I take a well deserved break from Twitter, Instagram and the housewives’ favourite, Facebook. I find I am compelled to take such a break because of how much of my time I spend (or waste) on there. I know I’ve been doing this for at least five years because the closest I’ve come to breaking was when David Bowie passed away.

So here we are, in 2021. I hear that the change hasn’t made things instantly better. If anything, this year already sounds like a parody of the one it follows. I don’t feel like I’m at a loss for missing out on it. I realise every year that I get all of my news from Twitter. I am thankfully clueless without it.

This isn’t an opportunity for me to gloat but instead to note that I find myself looking inward and feeling grateful. I’m on the verge of what feels like a huge change. Information could come my way this week that I have been waiting on for a long time. Every 11:11, I make the same wish. Here’s to hoping.

As we hit the end of the year and try to work out how much better 2021 is going to be, I thought it would be a good opportunity to dwell some more on what happened last year.
I undertook a project to listen to 52 artists that I hadn’t taken the time with before. As it turned out, I got to spend a lot of my time indoors, indulging in these albums, learning about the bands and musicians behind them.
I enjoyed much of what I heard but these are the ten artists that made the biggest impact and which I will undoubtedly full back on.

1. Pearl Jam
There’s a lot to be said about Eddie Vedder and Pearl Jam. Most notably, Just Breathe, which has made it onto a number of playlists I turn to in times of respite.

2. Thin Lizzy
After listening to Phil and the gang, I was lucky enough to visit Dublin and tour the studio where they recorded many of their albums. There’s a wonderful joy to their music. It’s fun and sexy.

3. David Gray
The wobbly-headed wonder was due to play some big shows in 2020. I was ready to go and cry, but alas, it wasn’t to be.

4. Wolf Alice
One of the bands I missed out on when their tide rode high, it was great to listen to Wolf Alice in the hopes that I could one day see them live.

5. St Thomas
The beauty of St Thomas was brought to me alongside the painful documentary, Burn The Place You Hide. More than any other artist, these are the songs that get stuck in my head.

6. Childish Gambino
The final week of the Music Jar project delivered one of the greatest performers. I look forward to listening to more of his work through this year.

7. My Chemical Romance
Being a sanctimonious little know-it-all, I didn’t listen to emo’s sons when they were at their zenith. Again, they were due to play some big shows in 2020 that I would have loved to have seen.

8. Weezer
A band that I wrote off because they seemed what we would now call a bit basic. Weezer have an incredible backlog of songs and continue to put out great albums.

9. Cigarettes After Sex
If you’re into The XX and London Grammar, if you like being sad, smoking roll ups and wearing nothing but black then Cigarettes After Sex might just be the band for you. I know they made my Top 100 thanks to the sweet Spotify algorithm.

10. INXS
Another band that I missed out on because I what I thought they were, INXS were one of the most important bands of their era who became a joke and a footnote unnecessarily.

I’m still working out what projects I will take up this year. You all know I love a challenge but I wanted to draw a line under this year and the bands I’m now into.

Each week, during this hell of a year, I take the name of an artist from a pickle jar on my bar caddy and try to ignore the different ways the world is falling apart and listen to their back catalog.
This week was the turn of London-born singer-songwriter Anna Calvi.

What I Knew Before
I knew of Anna Calvi as she rose to fame when I was still aware of music. I have since failed to keep up so this week has been a catch-up for me.

What I Know Now
Not only has Anna Calvi continued to make fantastic music, but there is a darkness and a depth to what she does that I should have appreciated a lot more. If we ever escape from whatever the hell is going on and she’s performing in London then I would love the chance to see her live.

Favourite song(s):
Wish, You’re Not God, Lady Grinning Soul and Strange Weather

Favourite album:
Anna Calvi

Spotify my favourite songs from this project.