Author: Paul

Today is my last day in my current role. As of Monday I’m considered a manager. Technically I’m considered a manager now because I have changed the signatory on my email to reflect this but that’s not the point. I could have changed it to CEO.
Two and a half years ago I started commuting to London alongside a promotion. It was something completely new and alien to me. I knew one person in the entire building and I had blagged enough of the interview that I was constantly at threat of being discovered to be a fake and burnt on a pyre.

As it turns out nobody really knew what they were doing and I fitted in quite well. During this time I have been through an awful lot. It’s near soap opera levels to be quite honest with you and it’s strange to think that the whole time I was clocking in, performing my job and going home again, where the weight of everything else seemed to sit.

Thanks to the incredible people I worked with being at work wasn’t an issue. I would go in and feel free of anything that was going on outside and while a number of people still don’t know about this and are still unaware of the input they made I hope that in time I can put those final demons to bed and be true and open about it all.

As of Monday I go back to being the new boy, the under dog, the clueless and I’m terrified of that. I’ve become a reasonable point of reference on my team. Most of the time I can provide an answer or seek it on someone’s behalf and while I know that some of the skills are transferable it doesn’t change the fact that I’m moving into a realm where everyone has their finger a lot more on the button than I do.
It’s a positive kind of fear. I’ve come a long way this year in near enough every aspect and this makes a nice little closing chapter.

I’ve just been taken on as a writer by SoundInflux. They sent out some messages on Twitter advising they were looking for new writers for reviews. I applied. There was a time when I wouldn’t have been able to even get that far but that was doing very little for me and I realised that I had to change. What is the point in being a writer if you aren’t writing? That’s honestly not some kind of deep, loaded or metaphorical question, there is no point. I’ve taught myself to sit and write as I’ve taught myself to apply for things of interest to me. All things considered this has been a year of substantial growth for me. Looking back I can’t help but smile.

I think if you are reading this and sitting on an application or an entry or anything else and you don’t know what the force is that is stopping you from submitting it then just do it. Once you do you’ll realise that it really doesn’t matter all that much. Some things come to fruition, others drop off, they are all important to you.

“IT’S SNOWING! IT’S SNOWING! GET THE SLED!”
What happened to that attitude. Now when it snows people just get the arse-ache, complaining about how they can’t get into work or what a hassle it is sweeping the snow.

How about we all just forget about those silly grown up attitudes and just appreciate how beautiful it is. This morning I was sat at the bus stop with my boo and it was so serene and peaceful that it almost made me forget about everything else that dragged me out of bed at half past six. That’s the way snow should be. It’s only a pain in the arse if you try to do anything so lets just let the taps run for a couple of days and not get too hung up on those things we hold onto so tightly that really don’t matter at all. Before you think of matters of life and death, concentrate on life alone.

So there are now a lot of people reading my NaNoWriMo project, Visions Of Violet. They should know that I love every single one of them. The three people I know of who have finished it all admitted to crying. I put that up on my Facebook page as a challenge to anyone else and I think there are about ten people who now have copies. The key is just getting people to read in the same way when I write and record music I just want people to hear it. I’m not really interested in making money from it at the moment. Although that might be some kind of ideal, where I get up each morning and pad down to my mahogany office to write on an Olympus typewriter and be brought cups of teas and cake all day I understand that might not happen for a while yet. I have a lot more writing to do before I’d be able to do it full time.

For the time being though I’m stuck on a cold commuter train to London, for work.
One day this will be an anecdote as I sit suited and cross-legged on a chat show, talking about what I did before I made it as a writer.

For now though, I just roll those ideas around in my head.

I’m struggling continuing with my ingenious plan of writing a book a month. It was all well and good in November when there were people all over the world doing the same thing but now I’m struggling to put pen to paper, or rather fingers to board.
I have a very basic outline of the story, too basic maybe. That could be the issue. It sort of feels like it is treading water when it should be marching on. I’ve only written two thousand words and I’m already so dismissive of it. Terrible business. The cool thing is that I’m writing though. I haven’t stopped for over a month. I’ve pretty much written every single day, a thousand words at least.
I may need to take the time to plan this piece out before I get lost and it turns to January before I get beyond this opening. I hope not. My leading lady is far too cool for such things.
Must read now though. I want to finish Gatsby, The Hobbit and Catcher In The Rye before Christmas.

Toodles

I’m not ready to go back to work.
Why are the hours of a weekend so much shorter than the hours of two work days.
This just isn’t on.
Also, I’ve done no writing today.
I have eaten a lot though.
A lot of meat and sausages.
Nevermind, tomorrow I’ll write.
I’ll write so damn well.
I’ve got another freelance journo thing this week as well.
I’m reviewing the new Amy Berg documentary.
I’m also going to see Band Of Skulls with my favourite.
That and much much more this week on PAUL!

x

Today is the first of December.
I’ve decided to try and start another novel.
I’ve been sat on a trilogy for about four years. I’m going to try and continue the momentum I showed during NaNoWriMo to take me through that. If I continue I should have them all done by March. That’s a big deal. This is something I’ve put off for far too long. I kept promising myself that I would get round to it at some stage but it feels like after writing two novels that I am comfortable within my writing style and can therefore take on a bigger challenge. The first two were fun because they both have roots in truth. This new one is something completely different, complete fantasy, completely of my own imagining. That’s quite a cool thing to start work on, it’s all my image, it’s all my thought and my pattern and whoever knows what else. I just hope it doesn’t leave me any time soon because the joy of writing is something I need.
Stay tuned.
I may hit a wall.

I’m back on the commute. That’s fine because its Friday and I have the rest of The Great Gatsby to read.

Yesterday I managed to wrap most of the Christmas presents I have bought and I recorded a new video (here)
I also went to the dentist for the first time in five years. It wasn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened. It was better than I had built it up to be.
I didn’t manage to finish redrafting but that’s fine. Kate is reading at the moment and fighting back the tears I believe. It’s a real weepy. I call that a success.
As far as my weekend plans go I’m out tonight for dinner and then tomorrow The Sultan is being delivered. That’s my new mattress. I wish I had given it that name. Aside from that I really need to get another microphone lead and start recording or I could write. Something will happen no doubt.

I recently recorded a new demo.

Hear it here.

James had this to say on it. It’s the best review I think I’ve ever had:

Well that was shit. Look what you made when you could of spent that time with me getting high doing fuck all…… I’m kidding I really liked it. Prefer your voice on that one. Radiohead do have a track of the same name tho and a nice 13 seconds of dead air

Today is my last day off this year (not including Christmas and Boxing Day). After this it is solid work. I’ve been thinking about starting another novel, despite the fact I haven’t finished redrafting the current one. That’s what I should really get done today.
Instead I’ll make a stupid video about moustaches and go to the dentist. I wish that was me just being wacky, that really is my intended course of action for the day.
I made a list of things I wanted to do with my four days off. It is composed of six items. I have achieved two. I don’t think even if I worked all day on the others I could get them done. Maybe I should give it a go though, what’s the worst that could happen. That’s it. That’s what I’ll do today, try and do all the things I said I would do today. I won’t be able to record a whole album today though. That’s a bit rich, even for me.
Salut.