Today is my last day in my current role. As of Monday I’m considered a manager. Technically I’m considered a manager now because I have changed the signatory on my email to reflect this but that’s not the point. I could have changed it to CEO.
Two and a half years ago I started commuting to London alongside a promotion. It was something completely new and alien to me. I knew one person in the entire building and I had blagged enough of the interview that I was constantly at threat of being discovered to be a fake and burnt on a pyre.
As it turns out nobody really knew what they were doing and I fitted in quite well. During this time I have been through an awful lot. It’s near soap opera levels to be quite honest with you and it’s strange to think that the whole time I was clocking in, performing my job and going home again, where the weight of everything else seemed to sit.
Thanks to the incredible people I worked with being at work wasn’t an issue. I would go in and feel free of anything that was going on outside and while a number of people still don’t know about this and are still unaware of the input they made I hope that in time I can put those final demons to bed and be true and open about it all.
As of Monday I go back to being the new boy, the under dog, the clueless and I’m terrified of that. I’ve become a reasonable point of reference on my team. Most of the time I can provide an answer or seek it on someone’s behalf and while I know that some of the skills are transferable it doesn’t change the fact that I’m moving into a realm where everyone has their finger a lot more on the button than I do.
It’s a positive kind of fear. I’ve come a long way this year in near enough every aspect and this makes a nice little closing chapter.