Category: Other

Head in the paper
Ignore the glorious fight
Mind your business.

Is it wrong to feel guilty about holding onto a LoveFilm rental for over a fortnight? Two films actually. Am I going to hell?

My friend doesn’t like the freelance work I do. He says I am purposely trying to be pretentious about the films I choose. He makes a good point. I am not however at the stage where I can pick and choose work. I get what I’m given, like an orphan in a workhouse or a crack whore.
I know I write differently for other people to how I write for myself but that’s the nature of the beast. You can’t use colloquialisms and abuse in public writing. Some of the things I write on my personal blog are libellous. That’s why they stay here. I have different pockets for different writers within me. How is that for pretentious and wanky?

I am sorry if you don’t like the way I write reviews though. I thought you’d dig how cool it is I’m getting to do it in the first place.
Just stick to the blog. You know I’ll always write about you on the blog.

Yesterday I started watching the Harry Potter films. I don’t think I’ve seen Philosopher’s Stone and Chamber Of Secrets all the way through since they were in the cinema.
A few things caught my attention for which I took to Twitter to be poignant and hilarious. If you’re lucky enough to follow me you may have noticed I got the two films the wrong way round and was rightfully pulled up on it by Stacy.

The reason we are watching the Harry Potter films is there are talks of it being a birthday present to visit the Harry Potter Studio Tour. I can’t be sure because Kate is doing ever so well to keep it hush, hush. I just have an inkling.

It’s amazing watching the first two films how terrible child actors can be. I know it’s the biggest franchise…. ever? I’m pretty sure that’s right. I’ll wait for one of you to correct me as you’re inclined to. I think it is the biggest selling name of all time. That’s pretty incredible for one person to have come up with. Let this be a lesson to you all.

I’ve spent much of today writing and procrastinating from writing. 
I still have roughly all of Where Did All The Money Go to adjust.
The good news is I’ve written four reviews and am listening to the album I still need to review.

Last night I went to a double feature at the London Comedy Film Festival. A Danish film called Klown (which was brilliant and disgusting) and Wizard’s Way (which was well presented and nerdy brilliant). I managed to drag my hetero life mate into coming with me and we shared a few beers and a few laughs. It’s nice to spend time with someone who is on the same page as me in so many ways. Because we go weeks and sometimes months without seeing each other I sometimes forget how spot on his judgements, observations and opinions are.

My reviews are already going up. Check out the Published work page for more details.

This is just a reminder to myself.
You’re tired because you are doing what you always wanted to do. That’s why it feels like you spend your life walking in the cold or travelling on trains.
You want to write. You want to review. This is what you have to expect.
So man up. Drink another coffee and remember that last night you were in the same room as a member of Monty Python.
Go back five years and tell yourself that would happen. Think of that expression on your 20 year old face each time you consider wimping out of anything.
We are in this for the long haul.

Last night I celebrated Christmas with my friends from my improvised comedy group. It’s been a couple of months since I saw most of them. It’s weird how quickly that time has gone.
It was so nice to be surrounded by the kind of people who have some drive to them. They always seem to be full of exciting plans and its a beautiful thing to behold. The latest is the possibility of turning one of my short stories into a short film. I spent last weekend writing up the screenplay (on TextEdit of all things) and they’re excited to get me involved in filming.
Oh, I just have to give a quick shout out to Jocasta for her copy of Office. You’ve given me a new nib you beautiful bastard.

Everyone was excited for news of the book and my other witterings.
I spent a lot of time talking to Sam, who is a singer songwriter. He’s trying to organise a music night and wants me to get involved which is always nice. There were talks of it being held in a church but he’s not found anywhere willing to let us in. I really like the idea of playing gigs where they aren’t supposed to be played, or in places a little unusual. I was just about to say I would like to play a gig under a bridge but then realised I was describing busking.

The important thing to take away from last night is to keep going, and you can do anything you set your mind to. People get to their chosen spot quicker than others but if you want it you can get there eventually.

Its gone nine and I’m not at work. I feel like a truant. I’ve actually been to get a filling sorted but I still feel like I’m doing something wrong.

I just spent half an hour under a spotlight having my mouth mashed about in the name of aesthetic beauty. I’ve never had the best teeth and my new dentist (because I decided to quit seeing one for five years) is sure he can turn me into a beauty queen. I’m not so sure myself.
My friend Danny once told me I had “indie teeth”. I never found out what he meant but took it as a compliment regardless.
Now I have had the nicotine stains taken off them and the chip in the front (caused by a dog) fixed and I don’t feel quite as self conscious about them. They’re still not gleaming little pearly drops dangling between my tongue, it’s basically just damage limitation but its good enough for me.

Yesterday I announced the imminent arrival of my first book; Where Did All The Money Go? & other stories. It’s a collection of short stories about my time at university. I’m still hard at work on proofing it. I’ve discovered I overuse certain words and am quickly scrubbing them through so I don’t look like E L James when it comes to publication.
You should know I am working hard to get this book out to you all. I don’t know what the turnaround is like from when I approve the final copy to it being available but I hope it is quick.
The plan is for it to be available as a physical book for £4.99 and hopefully on the Kindle for free. The cost of the physical book practically covers the costs of publishing the copy, hence why I want the Kindle copy to be free.
I’m not going to get rich as a writer. That’s never been what this whole thing is about. I just got to a stage where I realised I needed to write and to share some stories and this is the best way I can see of doing it short term.
I’m hoping enough people read it and there is some kind of notoriety received as a result.
If you do order a copy feel free to pass it around friends, spread the word, get people involved.

Thank you for the support people have offered up this week in particular.
I’ll see you all at the top.

This weekend was my two year anniversary with Kate. We were saying yesterday how we are obviously onto something good because nobody has put up with either of us for this long before.

On Saturday I picked her up from work with the obligatory chocolate, flowers & card combo and she cooked me dinner. It was goooood. Then we watched The Amazing Spider-Man and struggled to work out which of the lead characters we each fancied most.

On Sunday we went up to big London to have lunch at Jamie Oliver’s Italian restaurant and to see Matilda: The Musical which was one of Kate’s Christmas presents from me.
The food was so good. It tasted as good as you imagine when you watch his programmes. I know he gets a lot of stick but at the end of the day there are very few people who can cook to that standard (Kate is obviously one of those few (she won’t cook for me again unless I state this)). I had an Italian Mixed Grill which comprised of ribeye, rabbit, game, sausage and devilled kidney. Kate had prawn linguine. We both swapped plates before they were clean. We also had a couple of cocktails. Anniversaries are one of the few occasions where you are allowed to get spandangled at lunch.
For dessert I had a chocolate ganache pot and Kate had tiramisu which she couldn’t finish….so I did.

We had incredible seats for Matilda as well. I done good. Tim Minchin and everyone else involved have done an amazing job in bringing one of the best stories of our childhood to the stage. The songs are still in my head. The set pieces kept appearing out of nowhere and the cast were absolutely awesome.
I can’t comprehend how something like that is put together. It was flawless.
It’s got a good sense of humour and appeals to both adults and children alike. Bertie Carvel (Miss Trunchball) is one of the greatest villains I’ve ever seen onstage. It’s a mix between Rik Mayall and panto and delivered with aplomb despite the fact he has been onboard since the start of the run.
Go and see it.
I promise it is well worth it.

After the show we got the train home, had a cuppa and watched a bit of Pirates of the Carribean before I headed home.
What a lovely weekend to spend with my lovely girlfriend.
(You may all go and be sick now).