Paul Schiernecker

Blog

  • Pencaitland

    I have been lucky enough to take my second trip away in two months. I spent the weekend in Pencaitland, just outside Edinburgh for three nights with a group of friends. We were all there to watch the Super Bowl. I know you all must be wondering the same thing, why would I ever be involved in purposely watching a sports game.

    I guess I must have really wanted to spend time with this group of people – enough to overlook my usual aversion to the world of sport.

    It was a grand weekend where I ate too much, drank too much, realised that I am still terrible at PitchCar but equally fantastic at very British quiz questions.

    My highlights included:

    · Managing to secure a room and a bathroom to myself, which I assumed at some point would be taken from me.

    · Not having to, or being able to, go to the gym for four days

    · Breathing fresh air and getting out away from the usual nonsense

    · Spending more time with Darren

    · Escaping the “sports room” where the “lads” were watching the “Super Bowl” to watch the trailer for Avengers: Endgame, because I have my priorities straight

    · Making a lot of Brooklyn 99 and Arrested Development references

    · Playing the game Horse, but with skittles

    · Bringing down the survivors of an Antarctic base with Ben

    · Going for a four mile walk that included a village pub

    · Playing Hey Joon on the piano

    · Eating my weight in nachos

    · Shouting the four key phrases I’ve got in my locker in relation to American Football

    · Listening to the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack while getting hammered with Two Tennants Sam

    · Wandering, hungover, through Edinburgh with Marcus, killing time before the train home

    We may have shouted at one another at points, but it came from a place of love and anger, so it’s all in good fun.

    Here is to next year, and the hopes that I will be the champ.

  • Greenwich.

    For someone who has worked in London for coming up on a decade, I haven’t seen enough of our fair capital. With the daily drudgery it is hard to keep in mind that it is an exceptionally cool place, full of history and that I am lucky to live so close by. When Jaz told me she was going to start exploring more of London, I decided to ride her coattails. Our first trip was to Greenwich.

    The first thing to note about Greenwich is that cute new places keep on popping up, since the exodus, it’s all getting gentrified (thanks Alex Turner). The place was hip (god I feel old using that word). There were a lot of bare ankles, oversized glasses and Lush tote bags. We took the DLR through the winding monoliths of Canary Wharf and came out in the refined air of Greenwich. We walked down towards the high street and off to the National Maritime Museum. I’ve recently been writing a piece about an Antarctic Research facility and was given a copy of Endurance, the book on Shackleton’s incredible mission to the south pole, by my friend George. I had been told there was a great exhibition on the subject and was not disappointed. There’s something very Wes Anderson about the museum. Jaz and I were in our element as we wandered around the massive space, dodging kamikaze children who run at you, regardless of how wide a berth you give them. The only disappointment I suffered all day was discovering the Ship Simulator was closed. It had been a while since I had been at sea, my understanding of maritime law was waning. We found the Polar Worlds exhibit and I floundered at the equipment on display. It is incredible to think of how those men survived those circumstances and where their minds must have gone during the time. There’s only so much penguin blubber any man should have to imbibe.

    We also visited the Insight Investment Astronomy Photographer of the Year exhibition (£10 entry) which was incredible. It reminded me of visiting desolate locations with no light pollution. In the deserts and mountains I got to see the stars in full. I saw the Milky Way over the Sahara. I watched shooting stars from the foothills of the Inca trail. There’s this incredible display above us every night and the exhibition was an opportunity to showcase that and the incredible work the photographers had undertaken to bring it to Earth.

    We wandered through Greenwich Market and picked up some lunch. I found an Ethiopian food stall and was reminded of Bill Crystal’s joke in When Harry Met Sally. I got couscous, spinach, chickpeas, lentils, chilli and three samosas for £7. Jaz had cheesy gnocchi (from a different stall, obviously). We sat on a wall and I filled my stupid face with delicious food. I wanted to learn how to make it all.
    We went to Grind for a coffee afterwards. As we were just ordering drinks our order was overlooked a couple of times before we got what we wanted. It was very, very cool in Grind and I felt like I didn’t belong. I think that’s kind of the point.

    In the middle of last year, my friends, Elisa and George, were in Greenwich and found an art store that sold Wes Anderson inspired prints. Elisa sent me a picture of the Darjeeling Limited one and I immediately replied, asking her to pick it up for me. I knew it would only be a matter of time before I returned and bought more art. This time a print from Rushmore, Bill Murray’s character, Herman J Blume, is sat on the bottom of the pool. I love the bright colours in the print and could imagine placing it anywhere in my drab flat to brighten up the place.

    We went back across the market and over to Crosstown doughnuts. As I’m doing Veganuary a number of people (including Jaz) had told me how good their vegan, sourdough doughnuts were, but I had never tried them. I had the Orange Blossom and sat at the counter with an Americano, trying to artfully cram it into my mouth.

    We walked up to the Observatory. I wanted to stand with one foot on either side of the meridian line. You have to book tickets and pay to go into that area and to visit the only planetarium in London, so we made do with the free exhibits, which were full of children. We wandered back down the hill and made our way over to the pub where we were due to meet Laura, Darren and Darren’s mum, Monica, for dinner. She was visiting from Iowa (which I can definitely pronounce correctly). Jaz and I arrived early so propped up the bar until we could get a table. The pub faces the water and is a beautifully themed space, unless you live with my brain, which described it as “a maritime TGI Friday’s”.

    The five of us sat down for dinner and I did my best to not swear and to seem like a nice person in front of Monica because I wanted to impress her and live up to the hype I was sure must have accumulated from Darren talking about me all the time. She regaled us with stories of what he was like as a kid and I did what I could for international relations by trying not to be too offensive. It was lovely to spend time with them and to catch up with Laura, who I no longer get to see on a daily basis.

    We went back to their flat for a game of Obama Llama and some White Russians before getting the train home.

    It made such a break from my usual weekends to go out and do something, to engage in a day out properly and to pretend that we were fancy tourists. London has a lot to offer and I can’t wait to get more from it.

  • Goodbye Blue Monday.

    “Dwayne heard a tired voice from somewhere behind his head, even though no one was back there. It said this to Dwayne: Oh my, oh my.”

    Not my words but those of the late, great Kurt Vonnegut, a man who looked so much like me as a young man that I can’t be entirely sure one of the pair of us didn’t time travel. So it goes.

    Today is Blue Monday, reportedly the saddest day in the Gregorian calendar. I looked into it. I wanted to understand the maths behind it. I wanted to see their working out. It turns out that there is actually a formula for it:

    [W + (D-d)] x TQ

    M x Na

    W = weather, d = debt, D = monthly salary, T = time since Christmas, Q = Time since failing our New Year’s resolutions, M = low motivational levels, Na = the feeling of a need to take action.

    Now I don’t know about the rest of you but I hate maths at the best of times, let alone when I am working out when it is going to make me the saddest. The truth of the matter is that I haven’t failed my New Year’s Resolutions, I feel more motivated than I have in a long time and am already taking action. I refuse to be dictated to by a formula. I am not a baby.

    Instead I’ve taken today to read, listen to Father John Misty and eat good food with good people. It’s cold out there, I needed my cockles warmed (or the Veganuary equivalent). Please take the time today to give yourself a big hug or to tell someone close to you that you love them. I’ve just messaged my mum to let her know.

    Tonight I’ll go to the gym, meet a friend for dinner and if I’m lucky watch The Avengers (2012) before bed. I hope you’re able to fill your time with good things.

    If you ever need any help with dealing with this absolute shithouse we call life then my contact details are on my page.

  • Still here.

    It’s been two wonderful weeks away from social media so far. I know I will return and I know I will pick up bad habits all over again but the reason I am doing this is to take stock of where I am at. It has meant that I am more present, I have no idea what is going on with Brexit, and most importantly I don’t really know Piers Morgan’s stance on vegan sausage rolls.

    I’ve lost the twitch, the desire to reach for my phone at every moment I feel slightly uncomfortable. I’m watching a lot more films and spending my time with good people and making solid plans for this year. I cannot wait to share an awful lot of them with you, alongside the various projects I am setting in place for now and for the future.

    It’s also of benefit to the world that I’m not on social media for the month when I have also decided to try a vegan diet. Aside from the flatulence and the self-righteousness, it’s been okay. It takes a bit of planning if you want to go out anywhere but aside from that I am feeling the benefits. 

    For now though, be kind to one another and I’ll see you soon.

  • Starting it right.

    With two days left of 2018, I booked a flight to Spain. My Shoe Brother had made a vague offer of lodging and that was enough for me. I have mixed feelings about the changing of the year but I have good feelings about travel. 
I know what you are wondering. What is a Shoe Brother?

Over half a lifetime ago, I was in a Physical Education lesson being bullied. It doesn’t take an awful stretch to look at me as an adult and understand why I would have been bullied as a child. I was skinny, bookish and at odds with the DJ Luck & MC Neat-loving morons who made up much of the alumni of my school. In one particular act of bullying, a gang of them tore off one of my non-branded trainers and hurled it onto the top of the cricket netting in the sports hall. They also took another kid's shoe and did the same. Then, suffering a crisis of bullish confidence, they grabbed a pole and attempted to retrieve the shoes they had just stole. The pair of us both stood on one leg, a socked foot raised in the air in tribute to those vile idiots who probably look back on that day as a high point of their lives.
The other kid looked at me. 
“What’s up, Shoe Brother” he said. 
Therein began a friendship which I absolutely cherish to this day.

Luke is currently out in Spain, living “off-grid”, completely unaware of the nonsense in your social media feeds and unwise to your petty concerns. The way he sold it to me sounded incredible so I booked a flight out so I could spend the first part of the year, and indeed his birthday, in his holy presence. 



Luke picked me up from the airport and we ventured down to the coast. We spent time outside, a lot of time outside. We hiked up mountains and out to abandoned lighthouses. We ate as vegan as we could for a country built on its love of carne. We laughed a lot and we had some drinks and he made me dance on a cliff face while he drummed a beat on a steel pan. We washed up paella-stained saucepans in the sea. We practiced meditation on the beach. We got really, really cold from failing to dress appropriately for the plummeting evening weather. Most of all though, I just really appreciated him.



We are at an age when it becomes, or we make it become, increasingly more difficult to spend time with the people you have the longest and deepest connections with. It’s strange to think of the boys we were and the men we have subsequently become. He is a good, good person and that’s something to be treasured.

I hope 2019 treats me as well as the first five days did. I hope I can laugh and eat and be outdoors in the sun. I hope I get to connect and feel understood. I hope I can read in my spare time and talk in my taken time. I want for so much and it was granted to me so recently. 

  • More of this in 2019.

    Travel
    In 2018 I got to see new parts of the world. In 2019 I want to push that further. We are fortunate enough to live in an age when international travel is attainable. It might be expensive but it is possible if it is something that you want. Travel makes me feel good and it fills both my head and my heart with stories. If the opportunity is there then I am here for it. I’m already making plans for Spain and America. Let’s see what else I can fit in.

    Friends
    I am fortunate enough to have a wide selection of friends. I’m looking forward to getting back to improv in mid-January and playing about with those goons. I’m also going to be better at communicating with people. I have a tendency to isolate but there’s always the other side, when I emerge and need a harsh cuddle. I will keep those people close.


    Projects
    I have a whole league of things I would like to get done this year. Amongst them are podcast ideas, novels, albums, sketches, documentaries… You’ll have to stay tuned to witness it all but it’s a nice way of thinking of the new year, that I have so much to get done still and feel so positive about it.


    Piano
    I had piano lessons when I was a kid (shout out to Mrs Udaman) and now I wish I had stuck at it and got some grades under my belt. I’m slowly building those muscles up and getting somewhere. It’s still clunky and I seem to stick to playing everything in the first position and not even considering inversions but I can sense the progress. I’ve also taken the pressure off myself to be a prodigy and just enjoy playing.

    Health
    I worked hard in 2018 to be a physically healthier version of myself. This meant trying to visit the gym at least twelve times a month, eating better and trying not to turn to alcohol as a crutch. I’m some of the way there. I lost ten pounds this year through exercise and intermittent fasting and feel much better in myself as a result. In 2019 I would like to continue to exercise, for both my physical and mental health, and maybe cut down on the cigarettes I smoke when I’ve had a couple of mojitos.

    Films
    One of my favourite things is visiting the cinema. With Oscar season upon us, I wanted to give myself the best chance of seeing films like The Favourite and Mary, Queen of Scots. I’ve made a pledge to give the Odeon Limitless card a go. There is no need for these cinema visits to be with company, although obviously that is nice, especially if there’s kissing involved. I’m happy to go and see films just because I want to go and see them. I’ll go alone with no qualms. The experience of the cinema cannot be matched by a scrappy copy with Chinese subtitles shot on a phone at the back of the room.

  • 10 things I didn’t see coming in 2018.

    This year has been weird and unexpected in fantastic ways. As it draws to a close, I wanted to point out some of the many things I did not see coming.

    1. Freddie
    I am a dab hand at being an uncle now. I have three godchildren, two nephews and a niece. For some reason, most of the time, they don’t hate me. I think they recognise that I’m on their intellectual level. Last month, Freddie Schiernecker was born. Despite my best efforts they didn’t go with my name choice of Lil Paulie. The first time I held him, he settled on my chest and fell asleep. I looked up at my brothers with tears rolling down my face.
    “What the fuck is the matter with you?” they asked.

    2. Legoland
    When my friends asked if I wanted to go to Legoland to “help out” with their kids (my godchildren), I think we all knew what they were really asking – “would you like to act like a kid for a day?”
    We had an amazing time geeking out over Star Wars lego and watching the kids go through varying stages of joy and fear. Realising that the Ferris Wheel went quite high was a particular worry for the boys and Toby did not appreciate me using him as a human shield on the log flume. It was great to be able to visit as it wasn’t something we were able to do when I was little. That being said, the whole thing is a horrific money-spinner and I feel sorry for parents.

    3. Monaco
    I was given the opportunity to visit Monaco for work. The best part was that I got to travel with one of my favourite people and that I got the better room. Monaco is a strange and beautiful place full of strange and beautiful people. I bought the most expensive sandwiches in Europe and on our last evening, won big in the casino. Rory also made me swim in the sea while trying to avert his gaze from my tight swimming shorts.

    4. Yoga
    I had done a minimal amount of yoga before. I had tried Pilates when I realised there were a lot of women there. This year I took to yoga in a big way. I’ve been going to a couple of different classes and have felt so many benefits as a result. Taking the time to focus on your body and your breath has had incredible benefits for me. I often harp on about my mental health and I cannot believe the difference yoga has had.
    I also got to stay in a yoga retreat in the base of the Himalayas, because I’m a total cliche. There, Yogi Bobby made me stretch looongerrrrrrr than I ever had before.

    5. Hypertrophic Literary
    Having read the excellent When You Bleed To Death several years ago, I quickly decided that I wanted the author, Jeremy Bronaugh, to be my friend. I reached out to him by email and we struck up a transatlantic friendship. Jeremy is also a fantastic artist and I have both his graphic novel and sketchbook signed and proudly displayed on my bookshelf. Along with his amazing wife Lyndsey, he runs a lit magazine which I made it my goal to be published in. In Spring I achieved that goal and had a piece in Hypertrophic Literary. It was really special to open a copy and see something I had written, alongside other great writers and the beautiful designs that frequent every issue. My next goal is to visit my American friends.

    6. Dad’s wedding
    I knew that my old man would get married. I didn’t think about what my involvement would mean and how much extra time I would therefore get to spend with my dad and brothers as a result. I broke into his house and stole his passport so we could take him to Amsterdam on a secret stag and then, along with all his wile old mates, we had a day out doing archery and riding quad bikes before a curry and a failed attempt to drag him to the Pink Toothbrush.
    The big day was just that, a big day. I got to give a best man’s speech on behalf of my brothers and my dad mistook a giant mirror as another wedding going on next door. I ended up sitting up with my brother until three in the morning, watching true crime documentaries and talking absolute trash. It made me really appreciate the people I have around me.

    7. Seizing my space
    This year I made a conscious effort to own and love the space I occupy. I’ve been in my flat for four years and in that time a lot has changed. As a result, it was cursed with a series of different memories. Like the cliche man living alone, it was all basic and the furniture was taken from wherever I could source it. I’ve now cultivated the space and made it feel more like somewhere I want to spend time, particularly important when it is somewhere that I spend so much time. I’m happy here and I’m happy now.


    8. A lot of writing
    It’s no secret that I would love to get to a point where I could be fully reliant on my writing for an income. That means committing a lot of time to my craft. This year I have written a historical fiction novel which is currently out with agents for consideration. I also took part in National Novel Writing Month and wrote 73,000 words in just 20 days. That piece was about my travels this year and may well come to something at a later date. I’ve got a number of projects in the pipeline for 2019 and am very excited about them.

    9. Friendships
    It has been an important year for friends. I am fortunate to have different groups in different places and being able to meet new people and learn what they are about is one of the many joys in my life. I have a league of fantastic memories with old friends and have been able to cultivate new friendships. In December last year I asked someone I kind of knew if she would come last-minute Christmas shopping with me at Big Tesco and now Poppy is the person who knows what I am thinking before I know it myself. I also reconnected with Jaz and our friendship has flourished as a result, spending an awful lot of time drinking coffee and judging everyone else.
    Through Laughter Academy I have made a number of important friendships I now wonder how I survived without. Being able to talk about writing with Lewis, sharing music with Ash and chuffing well adoring Jess for being amazing have been great additions to my 2018. I was also fortunate enough to appear in a number of improv shows including a 24-hour improvathon with an amazing cast and I feel like our PTSD bonded us in a way others will never understand. This is of course on top of spending time with Luke, George, Benjy, Lee, Ross, Ross, Hollie, Sam, Cat, John, Ali, Olly and everyone else.
    I got to meet my friend Lottie after being Internet-only friends for a number of years. Spending time with her, her parents, Sophie and Steve was great fun and they made me feel very welcome in their home, even when I had to pass out on their floor drunk.
    I got to spend more time with Scott including seeing Iggy Pop, Arcade Fire and Queens Of The Stone Age together. Eventually we will get that podcast started.
    Through work I also made some great new connections, especially Kane and Laura. I also made a series of new friends in February when I visited York to watch the Super Bowl half-time show while everyone else seemed more involved in an American football game that was on the same night. As a result I was dragged into a Fantasy Football league that has taught me a lot about what nerds they are.
    Through my travels I connected with a number of people and hope that I’m able to visit them in 2019.
    If you’re reading through and don’t feel that I’ve captured our relationship that came to fruition in 2018 then this comment is for you. You’re fucking special too.

    10. India
    In my most obnoxious Eat Pray Love move to date, I spent a couple of weeks travelling around India in September/October. That trip included time in Delhi, Rishikesh and Goa as well as an incredible trip on the Rajdhani Express. My thanks to Sally for the initial suggestion. I am pleased to report that the trip has continued to influence me and I remember every single day with nothing but joy. If you are considering going away and doing something different, especially if it’s on your own, then my advice is to go for it. I cannot believe the different ways the trip impacted me as a result of being away on my own. It taught me love, patience and pain and I don’t feel like I’ll ever settle down on the other side of it.

    Photos under 7 and 9 © Film Free Music Photography
    All others from my iPhone so technically mine.

  • Top Ten Films of 2018.

    The following is by no means a definite list.
    I definitely haven’t seen all of the films released this year so you can’t get mad at me for not including You Were Never Really Here in my list, because that’s all it is. It’s my list. I’ve also avoided seeing certain films because I don’t want to be disappointed with them. Anyway, here we are. My top ten films of 2018.
    It will also be stuffed with spoilers so this is your heads up.
    The following are in no particular order.

    Black Panther – What an absolute journey this was, and a film that came along at a very important time. For the longest period Marvel tried to blame the lack of a BP film on us as an audience. They said there wasn’t the interest, but my god, was there. With an incredible ensemble cast and only a couple of token/Tolkein white guys in the fray, it showed just how wrong the execs can get it and just how incredible a well-crafted story by an incredible director and cast can be. I hope this is the start of many more and it certainly helped to have Wakanda onside when Thanos came a-knockin’.

    Solo: A Star Wars Story – I know there were a league of issues with this film including script changes, director changes and cast changes but I enjoyed it enough to see it twice in the cinema so it can’t be all bad. It paid lip service where it needed to but it was also a pleasure to explore another area of the SW universe without a Skywalker in sight. It was what I wanted – a Star Wars heist movie and the additions of new characters worked for me. It might not have been as successful as other Star Wars offerings but will anything ever be? It’s a pretty good effort a fluffy-lookin’ nerf herder.

    Isle of Dogs – It might not be Wes Anderson’s best stop-motion feature (Imma let you finish but Fantastic Mr Fox was the best of all time) but this film put the biggest smile on my face. Another case of Anderson taking the wildest selection of an ensemble cast and producing absolute gold from it – see also: Moonrise Kingdom, Grand Budapest Hotel. Can we also take a moment to recognise Anjelica Huston’s credit as Mute Poodle. The pacing and music and characters were great. I was enthralled by the detail and decoration in every single shot. It was delightful.

    First Man – One of two films in my top ten that made me physically sick (“Mr Stark, I don’t feel so good” being the other). This had a beautiful blend of first-person action and an in-depth character analysis of the first man on the moon. Gosling was incredible, as was Claire Foy. I completely bought into their relationship and the costumes were a great highlight too. It’s incredible to watch now and realise how dangerous that trip was and what it meant to the world. It’s just a shame that it was all faked in a studio by Kubrick. I’m probably joking.

    Love, Simon – This film went above and beyond what I expected. It is very easy for a film involving a gay character to make a sad point about the struggles of being gay. While this had to feature it was so refreshing to see a gay love story in a Hollywood film. This played out like John Hughes himself had his adept hand in and I was in floods of tears by the closing scene on the Ferris Wheel. More of this in future please.

    Avengers: Infinity War – This is the other film to make me physically sick. How could anyone ever do that to Pete – the sick fucks responsible have a special circle of hell reserved for them now. Arguably the most anticipated film of 2018, it couldn’t help but deliver. It only takes one look at the absolute sprawl of a cast as they run into battle against Thanos’ army to realise that this was going to be something special. Every single aspect was beautifully orchestrated. They paid service to every character and it was nice to see characters we hadn’t seen interact in the MCU go tete-a-tete for the first time. Props to Thor and Star Lord for best comic pairing with Dr Strange and Tony Stark in a close second. It also left me with such a bleak sense of hopelessness that I can’t help but feel slightly concerned about the approach of Endgame in 2019. What a journey.
    It was also a wonderful achievement for a friend of mine who worked on the film and attend a special screening for the crew involved. For over a decade he has wanted to break into the industry and I am immensely proud of him for having absolutely smashed his first appearance in film with this. The scene where Spiderman is on the doughnut spaceship (I’m sorry but I can’t do actual comic book words today) and his suit flicks over all shiny and cool, yeah, that shot was him on the CGI ones and twos. I’m so, so here for that. Well done Luke.

    A Quiet Place – What a true surprise this little film was, and I’m excited to hear they’re working on a sequel already (please don’t fuck it up). I should have realised that Blunt and Krasinski were not going to put their names to anything turgid. It speaks volumes that this is the only horror film to make it into my list (I haven’t seen Hereditary and have seen The Nun, so don’t even start). This was so clever and understated in the tradition of horror and I couldn’t help but suck my own breath down and draw my hand over my mouth. It’s brilliant storytelling and it just goes to show you that kids are loud and obnoxious even when death is in the air.

    Mission Impossible: Fallout – How how how how how is this the sixth film in a franchise and so good? I’m sure that goes against some kind of film law. Another great cast pulling off something spectacular. There’s something otherworldly about Tom Cruise. It’s very easy to knock him but there is nobody out there doing the things that he does, taking those risks and living as a character in the same way. That failed jump in London set up Fallout as the film we all knew we wanted to see – where Cruise fell out of things. Every time you thought there was no way they could top the action and it had to plateau, they piled it on anew. Henry Cavill and his non-CGI’d moustache were a great addition and anything Simon Pegg does is fine by me.

    Bohemian Rhapsody – It feels to me as though people had made their minds up about BoRhap as we are apparently calling it. There were issues with the script and with the cast and with Queen and then it all came together. I challenge you to find anyone who took to a role in the way Rami Malek did with Mercury this year. He was absolutely spellbinding. I bought it all, even the teeth. He was powerful and vulnerable and fabulous in turn. I know the timeline was off but time is an invention of man and I will let them throw all of Queen’s hits at a wall and see what sticks if this is the result. It was sublime and ridiculous. It was We Will Rock You (the musical, not the song) but without Ben Elton. It did what it needed to do and I was drawn in and certain that I should grow a moustache by the time the film ended. I also cried for the final twenty minutes, an incredible feat considering my heart is a shard of ice on a string.

    Widows – I did not think I would enjoy this film as much as I did. There, I said it. I assumed there would be a lot more focus on Liam Neeson and his fifty-thousand thieves as they skulked around Chicago with bags of swags. It is to the benefit of the film that they’re blown up in the opening scene (not a spoiler). Viola Davis, Elizabeth Debicki and Michelle Rodriguez then absolutely own it. This film is everything that Ocean’s 8 should have been (you will now note that Ocean’s 8 did not make the cut). It didn’t feel the need to unnecessarily provide exposition or detail of the end heist. We were shown what that money would mean to those women without them saying anything. They were absolutely badass and the twists and turns were a welcome surprise for me. It goes without saying that I now have a massive crush on Debicki. I don’t want to cheapen this post but I will – if I could be sentenced to death by snu-snu then I would want her to be my executioner.

  • Listen…

    We live in an age when we have access to all the entertainment we could ever need. It can be a little overwhelming. At the start of the year I realised that I was drifting away from the music I actually owned and committing more of my time to streaming through Apple Music and Spotify. In fact, Spotify have just dropped their Wrapped details which give a breakdown of statistics on your listening activity for the year. Here are my highlights:

    In an effort to ensure I was still engaging with the music I owned, I decided to listen to every song I have. I took two letters of the alphabet (starting with A and B in January, C and D in February and so on) to listen through every song I have and ensure that I appreciate it. It’s a library that dates back to my university days so some of the albums are particularly choice (here’s to you Pigeon Detectives, Courteeners, The View).
    It was a nice opportunity to dig through my own past and to engage with songs and bands that I hadn’t heard in a long time. I know the age of access means we don’t need to “own” music, but all of the music I own reminds me of particular nights out or gigs or partners.
    Somehow, I got ahead of myself so the breakdown of the alphabet across the year ended in November because I was able to double up a couple of months.

    Take the time to go back and read an old book or listen to an album from start to finish. It might just surprise you.

    For now though, I leave you with this:

  • Throwing myself into it.

    This month I have really got into performing improvised comedy. It’s been seven years since I was first tricked into taking a class and then suckered into taking part in a show. Now, for some reason, I’m taking to it.
    I can’t help but think taking part in a 24-hour show at the start of the month forced my hand. Since then, the idea of performing has got slightly less terrifying. Don’t get me wrong, I still have to hide in the toilets and have a word with myself before any show but there’s something new about it that I have thoroughly enjoyed. I feel very lucky to get to spend time with the people who make up Laughter Academy. I feel loved and supported and I’ve kissed more of them than I care to mention. It has really made me appreciate how important improv and the people in that world are to me. I am so thankful that a lot of my social engagements involve this fine set of people and that it just continues to grow.

    I have had the pleasure of being a bell hop, the illegitimate son of Sabrina The Teenage Witch, an Ironing Championships commentator, a film noir Titanic superfan in an audition and plenty more besides.

    I would like to thank everyone I have had the pleasure of performing alongside, especially those who have just done their first showcases after just ten weeks of classes. I also need to thank everyone who came to see me in the two shows I got to take part in.

    Until next year, here’s my best bits, courtesy of Clarissa @ Film Free Photography.








Paul Schiernecker

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