Goodbye Blue Monday.

“Dwayne heard a tired voice from somewhere behind his head, even though no one was back there. It said this to Dwayne: Oh my, oh my.”

Not my words but those of the late, great Kurt Vonnegut, a man who looked so much like me as a young man that I can’t be entirely sure one of the pair of us didn’t time travel. So it goes.

Today is Blue Monday, reportedly the saddest day in the Gregorian calendar. I looked into it. I wanted to understand the maths behind it. I wanted to see their working out. It turns out that there is actually a formula for it:

[W + (D-d)] x T^Q

M x Na

W = weather, d = debt, D = monthly salary, T = time since Christmas, Q = Time since failing our New Year’s resolutions, M = low motivational levels, Na = the feeling of a need to take action.

Now I don’t know about the rest of you but I hate maths at the best of times, let alone when I am working out when it is going to make me the saddest. The truth of the matter is that I haven’t failed my New Year’s Resolutions, I feel more motivated than I have in a long time and am already taking action. I refuse to be dictated to by a formula. I am not a baby.

Instead I’ve taken today to read, listen to Father John Misty and eat good food with good people. It’s cold out there, I needed my cockles warmed (or the Veganuary equivalent). Please take the time today to give yourself a big hug or to tell someone close to you that you love them. I’ve just messaged my mum to let her know.

Tonight I’ll go to the gym, meet a friend for dinner and if I’m lucky watch The Avengers (2012) before bed. I hope you’re able to fill your time with good things.

If you ever need any help with dealing with this absolute shithouse we call life then my contact details are on my page.