This has been one of the most exciting and exhausting years for me. I celebrated the publication of my book in two different countries, got spun on a Vietnamese coconut boat and learnt to make a passable flat white. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
January
Went to see Dr Strangelove in the West End. Had my book published in Italy. Grew a hideous beard. Went for a delicious high end tasting menu but had to get KFC on the way home. Moved house for the fifth time in five years. Let Dry January continue into Feb.
February
Got tattooed. Went to Oxford for Super Bowl weekend. Took Emily to see Six in the West End. Experienced an amazing use of free will by taking thirty friends to play laser quest. Lost mini golf to Wiggles. Lost my mind to new board games.
March
Got a new sofa (and haven’t got off it since). Took ownership of a cafe. Went to see Off Menu Live (again). Swam a lot. Rediscovered my love for wholesalers.
April
Started a book club. Lost my goddamn mind at Southend’s 48 Hour Improvathon. Worked some shifts at the cafe and met a lot of lovely people.
May
Visited our friends at Sababa. Trip to Cardiff where the highlight was seeing *Thunderbolts. Watched The Trolleyboys smash up The Half Moon. Went camping. Experienced my first gong bath. Co-hosted a hen do.
June
Invested in a walking pad and made it my personality. Wrote a letter to Mel Brooks. Spent a day writing at Metal. Took my married dad friends dancing. Trip to Cardiff where the highlight was a Reuben sandwich. Co-founded the Chippy Tea Preservation Society. Failed to learn to ab roller from standing to laying.
July
Took part in the only organised race I bothered with this year. Lovely trip to Margate to see my boys (The Libertines). Co-hosted a vegan BBQ.
August
Went to Vietnam with my best friend. Watched four films on the plane. Cycled through an organic farm. Had flashbacks in the forest. Ate my first ever banh mi. Learnt to make rice pancakes. Had a suit custom-made. Got an overnight train to Hoi An. Considered giving up everything to live in the mountains.
September
Spent the night on a junk boat in Halong Bay. Flew home. Had a meeting with HarperCollins that may well change my life.
October
Signed a deal that may well change my life. Trip to Cardiff where the highlight was the fish tacos. Got invited to a Springsteen listening party. Spent Halloween explaining who I was.
November
Went to see Jobsworth live. Switched my focus from cardio to weights for bulking season. Celebrated E’s birthday. Had the pan of our childhood.
December
Was the murderer at a murder mystery. Ordered a Weeping Tiger for the table. Attended my first Southend Creatives event. Partied with some yogis. Celebrated Hanukkah. Went to see Oh Yes It Is with the GGs. Finished edits on two books. Celebrated Christmas. Started work on the next book.
Listen, having a few days of respite at the end of this year has meant an awful lot. There’s still a long way to go and a lot of work to do but hey, what a journey.
Paul Schiernecker 
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