This week I’ve received back the last of the manuscripts I submitted to literary agents back in July/August(?)
Just so you know, so there is no doubt in your mind, they were all a ‘thank you, sorry, no’ at the very most. The majority of them didn’t include the title of my work, some didn’t even bother to put my name on them, just photocopied another rejection letter, rammed it in my self addressed envelope and sent it back so I could beat it against the coffee table and complain about how I am a genius doomed to never be recognised in my own time.
The fact is that I thought having my novel rejected would absolutely destroy me. I don’t handle criticism (or creative criticism as people will insist on calling it) well, to me it always seemed as though they were assaulting me and my brain and my efforts when in fact it’s just not to their liking. The Beatles were rejected by record companies, all of my favourite writers were rejected, so I just have to hold onto this one for a while and come at it from a different angle.
The thing is I learnt a lot from writing Situation One, it’s taught me that when I put my mind to something I can do it, it’s taught me that a hundred thousand words isn’t as much as you think once you get into a flow, it taught me to read, appreciate and understand the work of other writers, to try and take from everyone whatever I can. It’s made me a lot more receptive to the world around me and the people around me so even if it was all just an incredible pipedream and that novel never gets beyond the select group of friends I have sent it round to, that is enough for me, because although I’ve been backed into a corner I will be coming out swinging with the next one.