Growing pains.

I keep imaging a time in the near future when I own my own place. It’s something I have thought a lot about, even as a child. I managed to go insane with my brothers being gone for a week, how could I cope living on my own? Well I managed it at University, I ended up in a block of flats with nobody I knew and I think that sent me a bit crazy as well. As much as I say I need my own space I also need a level of conversation and understanding.

It’s weird to think of myself as being grown up. Yesterday when we were at a family wedding I noticed there were a new generation sliding about on their knees and screaming and that it wasn’t us anymore. To them we must seem like adults, in the same league as their parents (despite the fifteen year age gap between us) which is a weird thing to come to terms with. The funny thing is that we were still throwing table decorations at each other, still putting Love Hearts in each others drinks and laughing at puerile jokes. I think my brothers bring this out in me more than anyone else can, that’s one of the many things I love about them, I can get lost in our childhood. I see it when my dad and uncle meet up, it’s the same connection and it’s lovely to hold for a while but the fact is we are adults, and we will eventually need to leave our swinging bachelor pad.

Until then, I think I’ll always be a child.