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  • A week to go….

    until NaNoWriMo and I’m pretty settled on the winging it strategy. I have the basics set aside in my head and I’ve been reading a lot of Kerouac and Thompson to get into that totally free and rambling sensibility but beyond that I have very little really planned. I haven’t done a spider diagram or character development or settled on a title, I’m just going to let it pour on 1st November which should have been a Saturday if they wanted me to work hard from the off. As it is I’ve been scoping out the best position on the train to get a free seat for me and my laptop.

    I think I’ve found it. Far beyond the platform is a jetty that sticks out and hangs off the end of the world. The last carriage comes in there and carries me safely to London. It has the added benefit that if we have a collision or the train derails then it is unlikely I will be injured as the bulk of the train will minimise the impact. These are the kind of things that haunt my mind at 7:25am on a commuter train to the big city.

    Now I must finish Rum Diary and read something girly (for research).

  • An open letter to a friend.

    Don’t give up.
    I know it’s hard but don’t.
    You’re one of the few people still pushing for that great thing, unhappy to just settle into tedium and perceived inevitability. You’re better than that. I know there will be times when I look back to you for strength because you’re trying really hard and it’s such a noble characteristic when we are still so young. So I’m saying exactly the opposite of what that moron said. That’s one opinion. This is another. All that matters really is that you listen to you. If any writer stopped after a piece of bad press we would have no literature.
    This is the journey. The destination is unknown.
    X.

  • Come on skinny love…

    Last night I went for dinner with my best friend, Ben. Since childhood we have both been plagued with ‘being skinny’. We got into a conversation about how overlooked the issues of being skinny can be. This isn’t going to be a post where I compare my own (or indeed our own) suffering to the injustice in history because I am well aware of how ridiculous that would be. It’s just a personal bug bear, it just grinds my gears, and that’s what this blog is here for.

    Ben said last night that he would consider both of us to be of an athletic build, which I completely agree with. The fact of the matter is that on the Body Mass Index we both come in as being slightly underweight but who is to say that’s such a terrible thing.

    The key difference between being underweight and being overweight is that people feel they have every right to tell you that you look thin, or to tell you that they want to feed you up but I could never approach someone who was medically obese and say to them “oh, I’d love to take you for a run and get some stuffed vine leaves down you” because apparently that’s not acceptable. I don’t understand what the difference is. There are a variety of reasons that people are overweight and some of these could be down to deep-seated psychological issues but could the same not be said of underweight people? As it goes Ben and I have a perfectly good relationship with food, you should have seen us put away a mixed grill and a rainbow trout last night followed by dessert. That doesn’t change the fact that there are some people who are underweight and it isn’t just because they are of a slight frame, they have the same psychological issues with food; albeit at the opposite end of the spectrum, as an overweight person.

    So next time you are confronted by gaunt cheekbones and sunken eyes have a quick think about what they would say about you if they felt they had free reign over their condemnation of your appearance.

  • Last minute Sunday post.

    I’ve just realised that I didn’t post anything this morning. I was going to but my brain wasn’t screwed in properly. I’ve had quite a nice day. Had one of those mornings where you just space out in front of the television. Watched the final of the Big British Bake Off which was riveting. Then we watched X Factor which was awful, having eleven people sing club classics is a fresh idea of hell for me.

    After that I decided I wanted a haircut but discovered that absolutely nothing is open in Rayleigh on a Sunday. That seems ridiculous to me. I don’t understand why Sunday business hours exist. I need to do things on a Sunday.

    Then I went for dinner with my best friend. We were talking about writing and politics and Elementary and women and travelling across Europe and everything else. It is so nice to escape for a couple of hours and just jumpstart conversations like that. Hopefully after November we will write together again. He’s the only person I’ve ever collaborated with.

  • Saturday indoors.

    It was one of those mornings and couldn’t work out why or where I was. One of those mornings where it takes things a little while to turn over and start revving up to their usual speed. That’s the problem with drinking, it seems to hit me so hard. Last night I went out after work. This morning I woke up with a hangover. I can only assume the two are somehow linked.
    I had already dedicated today to writing but it doesn’t seem as if it will get rolling for a little while. I really need to properly clear out the shed that I plan on using exclusively for sitting in and working, it’s piled high with smashed in children’s toys. A ittle memento of the fact that once upon a time there were parents and three children in this house and now there are four men. It’s a change that I don’t really think about. It’s hard to imagine myself as a child, or to imagine me going through anything before around 2005 in fact. My memory has a way of playing funny tricks on me, dividing up my life as though those things happened in a different time and to a different person, and I suppose for the most part they did. Maybe it’s something internalised but I’m not the same person who went through school using my name, that much is for certain.
    Regardless though, that’s what I need to do first. I need to clear out the shed. Maybe I’ll do it in a series of trips, because I would actually like to get some work done today, and that will be hard if I’m committed to making countless runs to the tip to throw away childhood.

    NaNoWriMo fast approaches and in my usual style I have done absolutely nothing to prepare myself for an oncoming truck of a task. Maybe I’ll go and put the kettle on…

  • The overwhelming power of words.

    I just wanted to say thank you to the people who have kept me on track recently. The people who ask if they can read my work. The people who ask how it’s going. The person who asked which of the boys in Situation One shouted out a man’s name when they were saying which of their lecturers they fancy. You are the people who let me know that all the nights in, and all the square eyes, and the aches in my fingers and the countless cups of coffee are worth it, that eventually I can deliver something that I enjoy.

    Last night I got a lift home from a dear friend of mine who is currently reading my novel. He was so full of questions about the characters and their adventures and it was so nice to be able to talk about it all to someone who wasn’t there and yet was genuinely interested in what happened. He also said that he really likes my writing style so in turn I feel I have to thank Salinger, Dahl, Fitzgerald, Thompson and Kerouac for teaching me how to write without limits.

    It honestly is an absolute joy to spend my time writing, and now that I’m getting such wonderful feedback on it all I just feel overwhelmed and so supported so thank you to everyone who has read or asked after my well being in the last year.

    Peace&love.

    Paul.

  • Torture – a flash fiction piece.

    With her eyes covered and her hands bound Ashley struggled to make sense of her new world. By the rocking of the wooden chair she was tied to it sounded; by the echo, as though it were a large or empty space. She had awoken to the sound of footsteps receding and a metal door being closed and locked but they had not returned since, however long that had been. That was the worst thing. Ashley was never late.

  • On The Road – a film review.

    It feels like this film has been coming at me forever, like headlights always sat on the horizon, but I guess that’s the danger of knowing too much too soon, and knowing that its circling around the festival scene before it will come to a five rowed studio screen in a cinema in Basildon. The love I have for the book was a catalyst for all this, the movement inspired my own writing and those characters changed the tides in ways that are very much unappreciated. They were all at the forefront, “the disillusioned twenty-first century poets” as my dear Kate said to me last night on the road to burgers and french fries. She wasn’t far wrong. They didn’t suffer the same restraints of their ancestors, by blood or by word, and yet they weren’t quite in the promised nirvana, it was a no mans land to do with as they wish and they shook to jazz and filled up notepads with Benzedrine jabberings.

    It was therefore a mild relief to watch a film that attempted to capture that, because for the most part it did. While it felt like certain scenes and chapters were rushed; Sal working on the cotton fields and his life with Terri for example, there were true moments of beauty to it all. The cast cannot be faulted, and as with Perks there are moments that look like they’ve been dragged from the book, through the sieve of my mind and then splashed up onscreen, it just fits exactly to what I had expected.
    For a skinny, pale, English boy drawn to the dead and the dying Sam Riley does an incredible job holding it all down as Sal Paradise, a character tweaked only slightly from Kerouac himself for his writing purposes. His accent is strong, and the way he sees things and writes and smokes is how you imagine Kerouac to work (with the limited catalogue of recorded work we have to judge these things by). Garrett Hudland also works well as Dean Moriarty although at times the sense of wonder Sal holds over him in the book is sold short on screen, as though there were points when he were too tired to keep up trying to be Moriarty, who as we all remember “burns, burns, burns”.
    As expected Kristen Stewart’s presence in the film dragged three teenage girls into the cinema with absolutely no interest in the beat movement, or the story, or even putting their phones on silent but her acting wasn’t bad. Maybe that’s because Mary-Lou isn’t particularly the most filled character, even if she is the most filled character. Regardless, she holds her own in a world of men. Viggo Mortensen’s brief appearance as Old Bull Lee is also brilliant but cut far too short, I could have watched a feature on him.

    I think overall the thing to note is that no film is ever going to catch the spirit of a book. It doesn’t have the time. Modern audiences don’t have the patience. It would look different to each person. It’s just not possible. There are however moments when On The Road catches onto the imagination and sucks on it hard, and when it does the sky is lit up for a brief moment before returning us to the darkness of the hushed auditorium.

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  • Face burn.

    Morning.
    I got up far too early this morning, went running, did some yoga to warm down, showered and then got ready for work. It hurts me that I didn’t manage to squeeze a little bit of writing into this morning’s routine but everything is going to plan, I’ve got half my short stories finished now, although a couple of them are being scrutinised, tested and checked by some dear friends who are guaranteed a safe passage into Valhalla with my blessing.

    I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to orchestrate writing two thousand words a day into my routine as of next month. It’s going to be difficult, difficult, lemon difficult. I’ve been experimenting with getting an earlier train under the assumption that they would be quieter. It turns out more people are headed to London early than I had expected. I didn’t get a seat yesterday, let alone somewhere I could prop a laptop up for forty five minutes. Today’s search has been somewhat more fruitful. I’ve headed right for the back (like the naughty kids)
    at school) and so far I have a four seater to myself. I think the trick of keeping a four seater is to look on edge or on drugs. My natural look is a balance between the two and I’m hoping I can keep the savages back all the way to Liverpool Street. Maybe I could get this seat cordoned off with rope, and hire a bouncer.

    Anyway, I finished re re re re re reading Perks yesterday so now I’m re re re re re reading Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas. Keep it strange.

  • Out in this 4 degree heat.

    I’ve made a conscious effort to not be late this morning. Now my train is late and I’m left at the platform freezing my Two Door Cinema Club off. Oh wild joys of commuting. I assumed the platform would be empty at this goddamn hour but if anything it is busier than my normal time. What are all these people playing at? Were there families awake when they left the house this morning? Did they get to say goodbye to their loved ones? I doubt it.

    It’s a curious existence. We all jam ourselves into an electric box on wheels and then avoid each others eyes for forty-five minutes. It definitely makes the idea of sunny days a lot more appealing.

Paul Schiernecker

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