I had every intention of sending my novel off yesterday, I just about managed to get the synopsis done before I drifted off into a world of other things to avoid it. That included recording about eight new songs (as basic guitar and vocal tracks) so I can build on them later. The reason I haven’t sent the novel off yet is that I just don’t think it’s ready. This may be my fear of failure kicking it or it may be genuine. My worry is that this is the only chance Situation One will get to be told, if it hits a brick wall I will write something else, I’ll roll out of it but my story gets dropped and that would piss me off.
The amount of stuff that has gone on in my life while I was working on that book means that it is more than just a piece of writing to me now, although it descriptively covers a part of my own history the things I have gone through since, and as a result of it feel more important. For this not to be published would feel like not only was my University life being condemned (because that’s the period of my life the book is about) but everything I’ve done since, where it has got me, the friendships it has made, all come to nothing. I know that’s not the case but that’s the way it has built up in my head and it’s a very hard thing to shift. I don’t want this story to fail and I have to give it the best chance, I have to read through it again, and make sure it is the best telling it can be of what happened. I owe that to the friends who were there, whether they know about it or not, and I owe that to myself.
So here goes, 174 pages of A4 to read, and a synopsis to review.
Wish me luck.