Today is statistically a terrible day for me, every nineteenth of every month for the last three years is just a dumping ground for negative feelings in my body. Today is the day before payday.
I’m not a materialistic person (as I’m quite sure I’ve mentioned before) but money sure as hell makes me blue, mostly because I never seem to have any of it. I don’t know how I’ll ever survive if I do buy my own place (as intended) in the next couple of years. I think what really gets me about it is the fact that I don’t get to enjoy the fruits of my labour, I’ve pretty much stopped ‘going out’ of a weekend and I don’t waste money on clothes or DVDS really, it just leaves my account in repayments and direct debits from my previous life, and it’s hard to see a silver lining. I guess I should be thankful that on the whole my job doesn’t cause me that many problems, in fact I’m lucky to have a job and a wage, I completely understand that, but it’s natural to never be happy with your lot on life. What I really need to do is finish my redraft and send off my novel, it’s very much viewed as being my golden ticket, and I have total faith in it, so it’s just a waiting game for something to happen, but at least I’m trying, at least I’m trying.