I miss you.

I keep getting to thinking about the people I’ve lost in the last couple of years, it’s a process which I’ve been nobly informed is called ‘reality checking’ where you think of something you want to tell the person and then remember that unfortunately it isn’t a possibility, that they aren’t there to be told, and that really hurts. I think that’s when I miss them most of all.

After finishing the first draft of my novel there were five people I immediately wanted to tell and three of those aren’t with me anymore. It upsets me that they never got to see me finally get my act together and ‘finish it already’ as my dear Grandma put it, I know they’re all watching over and that’s all well and good but it doesn’t change the fact that not a day goes by where I don’t have to reality check.

I guess what I’m trying to say is never leave a room on bad terms, always tell people you love them and hold them forever.