Category: Other

Don’t give up.
I know it’s hard but don’t.
You’re one of the few people still pushing for that great thing, unhappy to just settle into tedium and perceived inevitability. You’re better than that. I know there will be times when I look back to you for strength because you’re trying really hard and it’s such a noble characteristic when we are still so young. So I’m saying exactly the opposite of what that moron said. That’s one opinion. This is another. All that matters really is that you listen to you. If any writer stopped after a piece of bad press we would have no literature.
This is the journey. The destination is unknown.
X.

I’ve just realised that I didn’t post anything this morning. I was going to but my brain wasn’t screwed in properly. I’ve had quite a nice day. Had one of those mornings where you just space out in front of the television. Watched the final of the Big British Bake Off which was riveting. Then we watched X Factor which was awful, having eleven people sing club classics is a fresh idea of hell for me.

After that I decided I wanted a haircut but discovered that absolutely nothing is open in Rayleigh on a Sunday. That seems ridiculous to me. I don’t understand why Sunday business hours exist. I need to do things on a Sunday.

Then I went for dinner with my best friend. We were talking about writing and politics and Elementary and women and travelling across Europe and everything else. It is so nice to escape for a couple of hours and just jumpstart conversations like that. Hopefully after November we will write together again. He’s the only person I’ve ever collaborated with.

It was one of those mornings and couldn’t work out why or where I was. One of those mornings where it takes things a little while to turn over and start revving up to their usual speed. That’s the problem with drinking, it seems to hit me so hard. Last night I went out after work. This morning I woke up with a hangover. I can only assume the two are somehow linked.
I had already dedicated today to writing but it doesn’t seem as if it will get rolling for a little while. I really need to properly clear out the shed that I plan on using exclusively for sitting in and working, it’s piled high with smashed in children’s toys. A ittle memento of the fact that once upon a time there were parents and three children in this house and now there are four men. It’s a change that I don’t really think about. It’s hard to imagine myself as a child, or to imagine me going through anything before around 2005 in fact. My memory has a way of playing funny tricks on me, dividing up my life as though those things happened in a different time and to a different person, and I suppose for the most part they did. Maybe it’s something internalised but I’m not the same person who went through school using my name, that much is for certain.
Regardless though, that’s what I need to do first. I need to clear out the shed. Maybe I’ll do it in a series of trips, because I would actually like to get some work done today, and that will be hard if I’m committed to making countless runs to the tip to throw away childhood.

NaNoWriMo fast approaches and in my usual style I have done absolutely nothing to prepare myself for an oncoming truck of a task. Maybe I’ll go and put the kettle on…

I just wanted to say thank you to the people who have kept me on track recently. The people who ask if they can read my work. The people who ask how it’s going. The person who asked which of the boys in Situation One shouted out a man’s name when they were saying which of their lecturers they fancy. You are the people who let me know that all the nights in, and all the square eyes, and the aches in my fingers and the countless cups of coffee are worth it, that eventually I can deliver something that I enjoy.

Last night I got a lift home from a dear friend of mine who is currently reading my novel. He was so full of questions about the characters and their adventures and it was so nice to be able to talk about it all to someone who wasn’t there and yet was genuinely interested in what happened. He also said that he really likes my writing style so in turn I feel I have to thank Salinger, Dahl, Fitzgerald, Thompson and Kerouac for teaching me how to write without limits.

It honestly is an absolute joy to spend my time writing, and now that I’m getting such wonderful feedback on it all I just feel overwhelmed and so supported so thank you to everyone who has read or asked after my well being in the last year.

Peace&love.

Paul.

With her eyes covered and her hands bound Ashley struggled to make sense of her new world. By the rocking of the wooden chair she was tied to it sounded; by the echo, as though it were a large or empty space. She had awoken to the sound of footsteps receding and a metal door being closed and locked but they had not returned since, however long that had been. That was the worst thing. Ashley was never late.

Morning.
I got up far too early this morning, went running, did some yoga to warm down, showered and then got ready for work. It hurts me that I didn’t manage to squeeze a little bit of writing into this morning’s routine but everything is going to plan, I’ve got half my short stories finished now, although a couple of them are being scrutinised, tested and checked by some dear friends who are guaranteed a safe passage into Valhalla with my blessing.

I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to orchestrate writing two thousand words a day into my routine as of next month. It’s going to be difficult, difficult, lemon difficult. I’ve been experimenting with getting an earlier train under the assumption that they would be quieter. It turns out more people are headed to London early than I had expected. I didn’t get a seat yesterday, let alone somewhere I could prop a laptop up for forty five minutes. Today’s search has been somewhat more fruitful. I’ve headed right for the back (like the naughty kids)
at school) and so far I have a four seater to myself. I think the trick of keeping a four seater is to look on edge or on drugs. My natural look is a balance between the two and I’m hoping I can keep the savages back all the way to Liverpool Street. Maybe I could get this seat cordoned off with rope, and hire a bouncer.

Anyway, I finished re re re re re reading Perks yesterday so now I’m re re re re re reading Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas. Keep it strange.

I’ve made a conscious effort to not be late this morning. Now my train is late and I’m left at the platform freezing my Two Door Cinema Club off. Oh wild joys of commuting. I assumed the platform would be empty at this goddamn hour but if anything it is busier than my normal time. What are all these people playing at? Were there families awake when they left the house this morning? Did they get to say goodbye to their loved ones? I doubt it.

It’s a curious existence. We all jam ourselves into an electric box on wheels and then avoid each others eyes for forty-five minutes. It definitely makes the idea of sunny days a lot more appealing.

Hi.
This morning I got up early, went for a run and then worked on my fifth short story (which is currently called Home). My car is finally back in the road so I was able to clear out some more stuff that’s been suffocating me. That’s another two bags of clothes and a box of books done. It was pretty easy to do. It makes choosing what to wear an awful lot easier when you only own things you like and need. I think I could cut back further. My only worry is what I’ll do as it approaches winter and I own one pair of jeans (with holes in both knees).

That’s enough of that though. When I went for a run this morning I couldn’t help but notice my hands went numb from the cold. I worry that my writing shed might be a bit too cold to operate out of, might watch that Dahl video again to work out how he avoided freezing.

You will be pleased to know that I am following in the footsteps of my heroes Roald Dahl and Papa John and have taken to working and enjoying life, in a shed. It was something I had talked about doing for a long time and the other day I was griping about my need to find somewhere quiet to sneak off to and write and my friend Stacy on Tumblr suggested I get myself a writing shed. I thought this over and realised there are two sheds which are virtually unused in our garden. I have been out there this morning, thrown out a couple of hamster cages and a broken swingball set and propped up a table and a foldaway chair. It’s pretty humble but it’s not like I’m going Kerouac in LT here, or even Justin Vernon, I just want to be able to run off for a couple of hours, hammer away (especially now NaNoWriMo is on the horizon) and feel that it is a job well done when I return to the house.

I’ve just had a look at what Dahl had going on and it is incredible. He had the most comfortable looking armchair, and all his personal affects, and soundproofing. Wow, what a shed. I have shed envy. This has never happened before. Am I a man now?