37.

As someone who hasn’t always wanted to be here, every birthday is a milestone of a different kind.

I am so grateful to my friends and family, the people who stuck around when I was at my lowest and not a lot of fun to be around. Everyone who has spoken to me openly and candidly about what we are all going through as we hurtle through space on a ball of dirt, as a bunch of elements drawn together by magic. As Carl Sagan said, we are “made of star stuff”.

I am grateful to therapy, of all kinds, whether it’s me sobbing on a couch to a virtual stranger for £50 an hour or running along Southend seafront, Biffy Clyro blasting in my ears.

I am grateful to have writing and improv and a good sleep routine. I am grateful that I love with my whole heart and that love found me when I least expected it.

I am grateful that dogs exist. That baked cheesecake exists. I love coffee and shopping for books and the hunt for the perfect tote bag that doesn’t slip off your shoulder. I am thankful for every season that I see change. Each of my nieces and nephews and godchildren for making me “Uncle Paul”.

I’m grateful that being alive meant I have been able to experience more of this world than I thought I would ever see. That I have hiked across deserts and swum under waterfalls, danced in a canyon and fished for my supper. Met god in an airport, ridden a camel, eaten Guinea pig and ate shit on jelly mountain.

I’m grateful that through all of this stuff, through being Paul Schiernecker absolutely relentless, you’ve been there for the ride. I am grateful for you.

Happy birthday, me.