From Hvar, With Love

I’ve spent the last week in Croatia with E. We had the most incredible time, wandering around the Old Town, swimming in the sea every day and eating some incredible local food.

It feels like the longest time since I went on a trip like this. The fact that we were able to comes from a position of privilege that I’m acknowledging here so nobody can give me shit for it later down the line. That being said, these are the best things I found about Hvar.

Fortica
The imposing fortress at the top of the hills overlooking the harbour is well worth a visit. Wandering up through the stacked streets, we came by struggling tourists as well as a number of young parents with pushchairs and toddlers, staring at the upward trend ahead of them and wondering if it was worth it.
It is.
Entry was about €10 each but the views across the mountains and to the port were worth it alone. On top of that, there’s a prison to view, quaint little craft shops and a small cafe. In the right weather, it’s really something. Just don’t get caught by Hvar’s flash floods while that exposed.

The Harbour
While the nouveau rich may have done what they can to bring cocktail prices up north of €15 with their super-yachts and hideous tailoring, the marina itself looks like something out of Game of Thrones. While there’s good reason for that to be the case in other parts of Croatia, the old town of Hvar didn’t see any blood spilt in George R R Martin’s name.
The area also serves as a gateway across to some of the best restaurants we found.

Food
Dalmation cuisine is a combination of Mediterranean, Italian, Eastern European and something else entirely. We had some incredible boar, octopus, gnocchi, shrimp and beef dishes along with a lot of local wine. Croatia seems to be a country very proud of its food and there’s a good reason for it.
We were dipping bread in oil like Micky Flanagan.
I would absolutely recommend Giaxa, Konoba Menego and Lungo Mare – “where restaurant chef cooks for you”. The last of those recommendations came as the real experience to us. The waiting staff brought us free appetisers and drank shots with us, the chef showed off his medals(?) and a litre of wine was only €16.

Snorkelling/swimming
The coast around Hvar is beautiful and is best viewed when truly out of your depth. We took snorkels with us but there were a number of market stalls around town where you could buy them. The water was full of fish, sea urchins, and a little further out, delicious, intelligent octopi.

Aquapark
I believe it was the Jackass boys who said “if you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough” – I know it was actually Roger Alan Wade, but stick with me on this. This is the kind of thing that I would have absolutely loved when I was ten, so why would it be any different when I’m 36. We spent half an hour here for €10 each, which was enough time for me to yank my shoulder out of my socket and to feel every prat fall the following day.
It’s a great way to feel like a kid again or to ask your girlfriend to film you as you race around the course several times in the hopes of attaining a personal best.

Overall though, what truly made the trip was the company I kept.
E is a great travel buddy and we were on the same page about enjoying the same level of activities while recognising that there’s also a good time to sit on a sunbed (€10-€30 for a day in some places) and read a book or two with a Karlovacho beer.