Today I was lucky enough to spend the day editing my next novel at Metal Southend. They’re offering desks to writers all through June overlooking Chalkwell Park, and if you squint, the estuary.

I’ve been editing this fucker for about six weeks and am close to completing the first edit – which is just reading it through and making sense of the world I have created. What I realised today is that I should have kept notes on the bigger structural changes so I can approach them next time around. Instead, I’ve made it slightly more readable and cut 5,000 words. It is showing itself though. I think there’s something good in there.

It was good to have some dedicated time to it, even if I massively overestimated how much I could do in a day.

It sounds like a song title by The Wombats but last weekend, we were lucky enough to visit The Wild Retreat. It’s a lovely little woodland hideaway on the edge of the River Stort. What made it all the better was that we took our son with us.
Our son is our 18 month old Pomeranian by the way. And yes, I will refer to his age in months like he is a human baby.

During our time there, we were lucky enough to go wild swimming, enjoy the sunshine and take part in a gong bath. I’d never had a gong bath before, or been to a gong bath before. It’s hard to work out the language around it. There was once an ill-fated attempt by some friends to gong bath while high but that never came to pass and I won’t reveal their names.
A gong bath, and the enthusiasts in the chat will have to forgive my ignorant terminology here, is a form of meditation where you lay down and close your eyes and someone plays a series of gongs and singing bowls which then resonate through the body? I’m still not sure.
It’s worth saying I can be a little cynical about certain practices and was worried that I’d be stretched out like an insomniac while everyone around me reached nirvana.

What we didn’t know was how Herb (the Pomeranian) would take to being forced to sit still for a prolonged period of time. He’s a very active little guy. We recently had to fill in some paperwork that included his Last Wishes (that’s another story for another time) and my partner suggested it would be for us to throw his toy doughnut one last time.

As the gong bath was run, I’m attempting to compare it to a bubble bath here, Herb settled between my legs and finally chilled the fuck out. You’re talking about a kid who wakes me up at 5am by repeatedly tapping me on the head so I can throw his toys across our bedroom. Herb stopped. He finally was at rest. He got onboard, understood what the occasion called for and got real zen about things.
I’d love to know what he thought about while we were nesting there. If he’s as much like me as I hope then it was the idea of selling all our worldly possessions and moving under that tarp in a field so we could cleanse with a daily gong bath, paying our way in the world with some gentle labour.

In truth, we both discovered something about ourselves in that gong bath. When you stop chasing after the doughnut and listen to your body, that can be enough, even if it is just for a short while.

Now that I have caught up on my sleep and had a chance to think through some of my decisions, I wanted to write a little on the Southend 48 Hour Improvathon (2025).

This was the sixth Southend Improvathon and I was delighted to be asked back once again. I don’t do a lot of performing at the moment with everything else that I have to focus on but you can bet your life I will forgo an entire weekend to dress up and be silly with my friends.

For context, the Southend Improvathon is now a 48-hour show, held at the Park Inn and comprised of an incredible cast and crew who perform, improvised, for an entire weekend. This year’s theme was a wizarding school which meant leaning into the cliches and watching as many films and shows as I could for research.

I started out playing Armitage Shanks, the school PE teacher and ended up as the Dark Lord, Nifor. It was really important to me this time around to lean into the character work more and not break from the emotional depth to get a quick gag in. That goes wider than improv and is something I am actively working on when I have the opportunity to do so.

Across 48 hours I danced, sang, joked and dug deep alongside an incredible cast and an amazing team of crew who looked after us. Watching everyone else’s scenes serves as a lesson in what is possible. They were all so quick, witty and charming in their deliveries. We ventured to a new world and took on something that felt like we were collectively getting into it.

Along the way it meant a lot to have real people to check in with. My partner was there for the opening episode and returned with my mum and her partner. It was great to see Jon, Sarah, Charlie, Drew and everyone else who came by and lost themselves in our created world for a bit. Thank you to Cat for the comfort and constantly running errands for us. I also really appreciated hugs from her, Jen and Andy when shit got dark.

Most of all, props to Ali James and John Oakes for creating the event and continuing to allow us to play. It’s an honour to do it and to be asked back. Looking forward to next year.

Today represents the start of a fantastic journey.

For as long as I have known her, Emily has been passionate about cooking, about food and about coffee. I’ve watched her try and find her place but something has always felt amiss. What she really needed was to run the show.

From this moment on, she gets to do just that. nOm is a vegetarian/vegan cafe on Short Street, Southend serving breakfast, lunch, coffee and sweet treats to the masses. Having tested everything on the menu, I can confirm that it is absolutely exceptional and I cannot wait to see it blow up as the latest local spot.

We have been overwhelmed by the support from friends, family and local businesses as she steps into this new endeavour. Angela at The Yoga Factory, Ian and Sam at Little Fin, Ames at Lennys and Ella at Sababa have all offered incredible advice. Thank you to our first batch of customers and to everyone online who has shared nOm’s posts.

Emily has always been the biggest supporter of my dreams so to see her achieving hers is wonderful. 2025 is our year, baaaaabyyyy!

You can find nOm inside The Yoga Factory at Unit 8, Short Street.

Il Falsario di Auschwitz has been available in Italy for two months now. I have been told it charted and that it continues to be well received.

I am so pleased that it is finding an audience and that the characters that existed in my head for so long have found a home. The comments on the relationship between Georg and Rose really mean a lot as I based so much of it in the relationships of my grandparents. I wanted a classic love that seems pure despite the circumstances they are surrounded by.

As far as the UK goes, I had a great call this week with my agent but am sworn to secrecy on what happens next. It’s really exciting though and I can’t wait to be able to share.

If you have bought a copy then I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Currently writing something new that is in the same space while being a different story altogether. The Schiernecker Cinematic Universe (SCU) continues to expand.

On this day, 38 years ago, a child was born. He would go on to be the saviour of all humankind and to change the world.

Want to know a secret? That baby was me.

Whether it’s the story of my nan riding a scooter through a snowstorm to see me or the rabbi coming knocking when he heard there was a new Jewish prince in town, news of my birth has always been shrouded in whimsical tales. Rumour has it that it was one of only two occasions when my grandpa cried (the other being when Frank Sinatra died).

But where has it got us? What has it all been for?

A swimming badge for successfully picking up a brick from the bottom while dressed in my pyjamas.

A professional qualification in financial crime.

A number one bestseller in Italy.

These are trivial compared to what I really know I have at this point. Some semblance of inner peace and a respect for the man I have become. I like to think I’m well thought of to those I care about. It’s always been my people pleasing way to put others before myself. I hope that it shines. To feel comfortable in my skin and to know that life is actually pretty good in my microcosm is a wonderful thing. I’ve got me people, I’ve got me person, I’ve got me dog.

So here we go for yet another spin. I can’t wait.

I am absolutely thrilled to announce that my debut novel, The Counterfeiter of Auschwitz (or as they’re rightfully calling it Il Falsario Di Auschwitz), is now available in Italian on Kindle and in paperback.

I have been working towards traditional publication since 2011, when I sent the first novel I’d ever finished, Situation One, to literary agents. Since then, I have had a number of knock-backs, not just for that attempt at writing like Bret Easton Ellis, but perhaps a novel a year since. On top of that, I independently published five books – which many of you read and laughed through.

For anyone who has ever thought they have a novel in them, please go and sit down right now and just write a sentence. You do have a novel in you. We all do. It is in our nature to tell stories, for good or ill will, and you have as much right to do that as anyone else.

Over the years I have been lucky enough to get to know, connect with and yes, knock boots with, any number of brilliant creatives. You know who you are and what today means to me.

For now, it’s Italy. But there are three other countries who have made the sensible choice to publish TCOA (as the world is already calling it). You’ll have to use some of the patience I’ve shown before we get there.

For now, thank you to everyone who believed in me, asked how I was getting on, and stayed there every step of the way. And for all those people who belittled my ambition, this is for you too.

From me and Georg Gottlieb, the hero of TCOA, grazie mille.

That bit there, that says that it’s the publishing event of the year. You know, just in case your Italian is a little rusty.

It’s been an interesting year. I purposely avoided the news but remained aware of the Glasgow Wonka Experience, Baby Reindeer and the great work of Chappell Roan.

I’ve read 52 books, spent 116,494 minutes listening to music, podcasts and audiobooks on Spotify, ran, swam and cycled a total of 539km, released an album, wrote two books and we got a puppy. It’s been a real time.

January

Visited Sloenia for Keren’s birthday where I tried bear salami for the first time, drove on the wrong side of the road up into the mountains, danced a lot while drunk on local wine and went dickie down in the snow.
Collected our puppy, Herb, who is leaning up against me as I write out this review and who we couldn’t imagine life without.

February

Took part in the Southend Improvathon for the fifth time around. Playing Doug Ropp, I got to fool around with Bunny and helped craft the earworm of the year. Being a part of the improvathon is a big deal and something I am very proud of. The work that Ali, John and all of the technical crew put into it is incredible and I was delighted to be given over a years heads up of what I would be doing in 2025.
Turned 37 which doesn’t really mean much other than that I got to celebrate myself. We took Herb for his first outdoor walk in Belfairs Woods and then to the cinema to see The Iron Claw. I don’t think I’ve stopped thinking about it since.
The day after, I went to the gym with Joey, and on my return was surprised by all of my friends who had assembled for brunch under E’s sneaky guidance. It was a reminder of the people I surround myself with being more important than the things in life. We went to Food by John Lawson and were well looked after. The wine pairing saw the end of us, as it always does.
Signed the contract for my book to be taken international and celebrated with one of many bottles of Prosecco that made up 2024.
Tom and I visited Manchester for some hard graft and well-deserved Guinness.

March

E and I flew to Prague where TCOA is set. I’d promised her that when the book did what it was supposed to do, we would visit the city where the opening of the book is set. We had an amazing time and were able to visit sites I had only ever written about. It certainly stirred something in my creative side and I’ve been thinking up something since to rival my first book.
John invited me onto his podcast, JobsWorth, and I cried twice but was able to share my journey across a two hour conversation.

April

In a moment of madness, E and I started tracking ridiculous diets through TikTok. Amongst them was the cabbage soup diet which broke us both emotionally. It did mean that my goal of dropping some of the weight I’d put on through the winter drew a little closer. It would be longer still before the Christmas bulk started to shift.
Having a dog meant we went for a lot more walks and everyone stopped us to ask how we had such a glorious boy.

May

We were back to running again properly, having dropped off a little through winter. I love running more than any other exercise. It’s the only thing other than writing that clears my mind in the way I need. I then made the mistake of signing up for a half marathon.
We attended Ben & Jess’s wedding which was so beautiful and a good chance to catch up with the boys. I have little recollection of events after a point. I have two pictures of the entire day. God bless them, every one.
Volunteered with a bunch of people at work and we worked in the gardens for the day. Very rewarding and a good opportunity to rock a pair of dungarees that I hadn’t worn since Denim Elliott.

June

Saw Ed Gamble perform at the Cliffs with Chloe Petts as support. Very very good show which it felt like the real people of Southend were all present for.
Ran a half marathon for charity, don’t like to talk about it. Actually, I do. It really sucked. It was tough going and I was worried about an ankle injury I had picked up in training. Even so, 1hr48. Not to be sniffed at.
Saw Adam Buxton at the Hammersmith Apollo (I refuse to call it by any other name) and Louis Theroux was the guest. Very fun!
Took a trip to Norfolk to visit E’s family and went for a bike ride in the forest, the first time I had been on a bike in years. It made us both question why we weren’t up there more often.

July

Got to see Arcade Fire on the anniversary of their first album, Funeral. It’s terrifying that albums I love and still listen to regularly are turning twenty. Aren’t I turning twenty?
London for DG’s stag do where we got to enjoy Mercato Metropolitano, Four Quarters and The Comedy Store. What more could a stag ask for?
As the weather improved, I got back into running again. There’s nothing quite like it.
Took Dad out for his birthday present, tickets to see Fawlty Towers on stage. We went to the war museum and for Korean BBQ. Total boys day and the three of us had a great time.

August

It was a big turning point for us when we started watching NuttyFoodieFitness and other triathletes on YouTube and started triathlon training. Our plan being to take on a sprint tri in May 2025 and a full triathlon next Summer. Since then, my ability on the exercise bike and in the pool has stepped up as well as maintaining my running post-half-marathon. When we first got in the pool, I couldn’t do 200m without a break.
Went to a silent disco with Keren & Joey. It was mostly full of mums getting a break from their kids and husbands.
Joey and I then went to ATG festival, my first experience of progressive, math-rock and alt extravaganza and one that I won’t forget, apart from the parts I have no memory of.

September

Attended our second wedding of the year – David and Nina’s – and did our best to fill the dance floor until the lights came on.
Went to London to watch the Supertri, confirming that this was a hyper fixation that would stick for a while.
Flew to Turkey and spent a week abusing the all inclusive package and then getting violent food poisoning before our flight home.
Smashed my friends at shuffleboard and lost a wedding ring in a ball pit.

October

Took in the horrific sights of the Serial Killer Exhibition at Waterloo Vaults and ate a lot of pizza after to recover.
Took part in the latest installment of the Gameshow Show and haven’t been clean since.
Met up with an old friend at their art exhibition and signed a contract for the book to be sold in Slovakia, the fourth country for the rights to sell in.
Tried my hand at art and had to accept that I am as bad as I have ever been.
Took Dad to see Sounds of Springsteen.
Unlocked the secret dim sum menu at The Pearl Dragon.

November

Early Christmukkah with Benjy and family ahead of his international Christmas plans.
My brother and his fiancé had another baby, another P Schiernecker in fact, bringing the total sprogs that I am worryingly responsible for to eight. Held her for the first time and had a little cry.
Went to Norfolk for pie.
Took RB to London for a head swelling and spent a great day hanging around with JA.
E’s birthday meant another day in London, with dim sum, The Devil Wears Prada and dinner with her friend.
Relived an old flame by seeing Razorlight play the entirety of Up All Night in Brixton.

December

Finally convinced my niece that I’m not evil and we bonded over Limp Bizkit.
Learnt that I still cannot axethrow.
Released my seventh album, You Had Me At Shalom.
Celebrated Hanukkah and Christmas with friends and family across a very spread out festive season.

******

It’s been a real year. There’s been so many highs. I’m very grateful to all the people in my life, how much I’ve been able to travel and how the fruits of my labour are starting to grow.
There’s so much more to come. For now, let’s enjoy the journey.

My new, and seventh, album is now available on Spotify and probably a bunch of other places.

I’ve put out an album a year since 2020 and just about got this one across the line. It’s ten tracks, all written and recorded by me. For the first time, I have a guest vocalist in the shape of my niece, Kadie, who wrote the chorus of Kadie’s Song (Track 8) and sings on it too.

I don’t care about making money but there is something incredible to me about being able to sit at my desk, come out with something and go on to share it with the world. A sixteen-year-old Paul Schiernecker, trying to learn riffs on guitar, would be amazed.

As ever, the tracks all come from a personal place and, if you ask, I’ll tell you about the meaning. They’re pretty obvious, a little on the nose, but hopefully, fun.

Go listen now.

I’m thinking about writing something new. It has dawned on me that the greatest resource I could have for it isn’t time, which is often the barrier, but instead, people. Or more specifically, person.

This may never come to anything so this post is going to lack the real purpose but I’m sat staring at my own family tree, tracing it back with a finger and trying to trust enough in Google Translate because I never took the time to learn to read or speak Dutch. Where we all came from is fascinating. How I came to be is something I can always find myself drawn back to considering.

What I would give to be able to call this person up and ask all the questions that I never took the time to. Not that he probably would have spoken about it or would have been compis mentis enough to fill a manuscript. What he left behind is me, is us, and a series of increasingly bizarre stories about his worrying behaviour towards his own end.

I keep seeing those targeted adverts, suggesting you buy a shitty little journal to ask your father about his life. It’s my thought that you don’t need to tick that box like an exercise. I like to ask questions. I like to know. I just wish I’d got to that sooner.