Paul Schiernecker

Blog

  • Still here.

    It’s been two wonderful weeks away from social media so far. I know I will return and I know I will pick up bad habits all over again but the reason I am doing this is to take stock of where I am at. It has meant that I am more present, I have no idea what is going on with Brexit, and most importantly I don’t really know Piers Morgan’s stance on vegan sausage rolls.

    I’ve lost the twitch, the desire to reach for my phone at every moment I feel slightly uncomfortable. I’m watching a lot more films and spending my time with good people and making solid plans for this year. I cannot wait to share an awful lot of them with you, alongside the various projects I am setting in place for now and for the future.

    It’s also of benefit to the world that I’m not on social media for the month when I have also decided to try a vegan diet. Aside from the flatulence and the self-righteousness, it’s been okay. It takes a bit of planning if you want to go out anywhere but aside from that I am feeling the benefits. 

    For now though, be kind to one another and I’ll see you soon.

  • Starting it right.

    With two days left of 2018, I booked a flight to Spain. My Shoe Brother had made a vague offer of lodging and that was enough for me. I have mixed feelings about the changing of the year but I have good feelings about travel. 
I know what you are wondering. What is a Shoe Brother?

Over half a lifetime ago, I was in a Physical Education lesson being bullied. It doesn’t take an awful stretch to look at me as an adult and understand why I would have been bullied as a child. I was skinny, bookish and at odds with the DJ Luck & MC Neat-loving morons who made up much of the alumni of my school. In one particular act of bullying, a gang of them tore off one of my non-branded trainers and hurled it onto the top of the cricket netting in the sports hall. They also took another kid's shoe and did the same. Then, suffering a crisis of bullish confidence, they grabbed a pole and attempted to retrieve the shoes they had just stole. The pair of us both stood on one leg, a socked foot raised in the air in tribute to those vile idiots who probably look back on that day as a high point of their lives.
The other kid looked at me. 
“What’s up, Shoe Brother” he said. 
Therein began a friendship which I absolutely cherish to this day.

Luke is currently out in Spain, living “off-grid”, completely unaware of the nonsense in your social media feeds and unwise to your petty concerns. The way he sold it to me sounded incredible so I booked a flight out so I could spend the first part of the year, and indeed his birthday, in his holy presence. 



Luke picked me up from the airport and we ventured down to the coast. We spent time outside, a lot of time outside. We hiked up mountains and out to abandoned lighthouses. We ate as vegan as we could for a country built on its love of carne. We laughed a lot and we had some drinks and he made me dance on a cliff face while he drummed a beat on a steel pan. We washed up paella-stained saucepans in the sea. We practiced meditation on the beach. We got really, really cold from failing to dress appropriately for the plummeting evening weather. Most of all though, I just really appreciated him.



We are at an age when it becomes, or we make it become, increasingly more difficult to spend time with the people you have the longest and deepest connections with. It’s strange to think of the boys we were and the men we have subsequently become. He is a good, good person and that’s something to be treasured.

I hope 2019 treats me as well as the first five days did. I hope I can laugh and eat and be outdoors in the sun. I hope I get to connect and feel understood. I hope I can read in my spare time and talk in my taken time. I want for so much and it was granted to me so recently. 

  • More of this in 2019.

    Travel
    In 2018 I got to see new parts of the world. In 2019 I want to push that further. We are fortunate enough to live in an age when international travel is attainable. It might be expensive but it is possible if it is something that you want. Travel makes me feel good and it fills both my head and my heart with stories. If the opportunity is there then I am here for it. I’m already making plans for Spain and America. Let’s see what else I can fit in.

    Friends
    I am fortunate enough to have a wide selection of friends. I’m looking forward to getting back to improv in mid-January and playing about with those goons. I’m also going to be better at communicating with people. I have a tendency to isolate but there’s always the other side, when I emerge and need a harsh cuddle. I will keep those people close.


    Projects
    I have a whole league of things I would like to get done this year. Amongst them are podcast ideas, novels, albums, sketches, documentaries… You’ll have to stay tuned to witness it all but it’s a nice way of thinking of the new year, that I have so much to get done still and feel so positive about it.


    Piano
    I had piano lessons when I was a kid (shout out to Mrs Udaman) and now I wish I had stuck at it and got some grades under my belt. I’m slowly building those muscles up and getting somewhere. It’s still clunky and I seem to stick to playing everything in the first position and not even considering inversions but I can sense the progress. I’ve also taken the pressure off myself to be a prodigy and just enjoy playing.

    Health
    I worked hard in 2018 to be a physically healthier version of myself. This meant trying to visit the gym at least twelve times a month, eating better and trying not to turn to alcohol as a crutch. I’m some of the way there. I lost ten pounds this year through exercise and intermittent fasting and feel much better in myself as a result. In 2019 I would like to continue to exercise, for both my physical and mental health, and maybe cut down on the cigarettes I smoke when I’ve had a couple of mojitos.

    Films
    One of my favourite things is visiting the cinema. With Oscar season upon us, I wanted to give myself the best chance of seeing films like The Favourite and Mary, Queen of Scots. I’ve made a pledge to give the Odeon Limitless card a go. There is no need for these cinema visits to be with company, although obviously that is nice, especially if there’s kissing involved. I’m happy to go and see films just because I want to go and see them. I’ll go alone with no qualms. The experience of the cinema cannot be matched by a scrappy copy with Chinese subtitles shot on a phone at the back of the room.

  • 10 things I didn’t see coming in 2018.

    This year has been weird and unexpected in fantastic ways. As it draws to a close, I wanted to point out some of the many things I did not see coming.

    1. Freddie
    I am a dab hand at being an uncle now. I have three godchildren, two nephews and a niece. For some reason, most of the time, they don’t hate me. I think they recognise that I’m on their intellectual level. Last month, Freddie Schiernecker was born. Despite my best efforts they didn’t go with my name choice of Lil Paulie. The first time I held him, he settled on my chest and fell asleep. I looked up at my brothers with tears rolling down my face.
    “What the fuck is the matter with you?” they asked.

    2. Legoland
    When my friends asked if I wanted to go to Legoland to “help out” with their kids (my godchildren), I think we all knew what they were really asking – “would you like to act like a kid for a day?”
    We had an amazing time geeking out over Star Wars lego and watching the kids go through varying stages of joy and fear. Realising that the Ferris Wheel went quite high was a particular worry for the boys and Toby did not appreciate me using him as a human shield on the log flume. It was great to be able to visit as it wasn’t something we were able to do when I was little. That being said, the whole thing is a horrific money-spinner and I feel sorry for parents.

    3. Monaco
    I was given the opportunity to visit Monaco for work. The best part was that I got to travel with one of my favourite people and that I got the better room. Monaco is a strange and beautiful place full of strange and beautiful people. I bought the most expensive sandwiches in Europe and on our last evening, won big in the casino. Rory also made me swim in the sea while trying to avert his gaze from my tight swimming shorts.

    4. Yoga
    I had done a minimal amount of yoga before. I had tried Pilates when I realised there were a lot of women there. This year I took to yoga in a big way. I’ve been going to a couple of different classes and have felt so many benefits as a result. Taking the time to focus on your body and your breath has had incredible benefits for me. I often harp on about my mental health and I cannot believe the difference yoga has had.
    I also got to stay in a yoga retreat in the base of the Himalayas, because I’m a total cliche. There, Yogi Bobby made me stretch looongerrrrrrr than I ever had before.

    5. Hypertrophic Literary
    Having read the excellent When You Bleed To Death several years ago, I quickly decided that I wanted the author, Jeremy Bronaugh, to be my friend. I reached out to him by email and we struck up a transatlantic friendship. Jeremy is also a fantastic artist and I have both his graphic novel and sketchbook signed and proudly displayed on my bookshelf. Along with his amazing wife Lyndsey, he runs a lit magazine which I made it my goal to be published in. In Spring I achieved that goal and had a piece in Hypertrophic Literary. It was really special to open a copy and see something I had written, alongside other great writers and the beautiful designs that frequent every issue. My next goal is to visit my American friends.

    6. Dad’s wedding
    I knew that my old man would get married. I didn’t think about what my involvement would mean and how much extra time I would therefore get to spend with my dad and brothers as a result. I broke into his house and stole his passport so we could take him to Amsterdam on a secret stag and then, along with all his wile old mates, we had a day out doing archery and riding quad bikes before a curry and a failed attempt to drag him to the Pink Toothbrush.
    The big day was just that, a big day. I got to give a best man’s speech on behalf of my brothers and my dad mistook a giant mirror as another wedding going on next door. I ended up sitting up with my brother until three in the morning, watching true crime documentaries and talking absolute trash. It made me really appreciate the people I have around me.

    7. Seizing my space
    This year I made a conscious effort to own and love the space I occupy. I’ve been in my flat for four years and in that time a lot has changed. As a result, it was cursed with a series of different memories. Like the cliche man living alone, it was all basic and the furniture was taken from wherever I could source it. I’ve now cultivated the space and made it feel more like somewhere I want to spend time, particularly important when it is somewhere that I spend so much time. I’m happy here and I’m happy now.


    8. A lot of writing
    It’s no secret that I would love to get to a point where I could be fully reliant on my writing for an income. That means committing a lot of time to my craft. This year I have written a historical fiction novel which is currently out with agents for consideration. I also took part in National Novel Writing Month and wrote 73,000 words in just 20 days. That piece was about my travels this year and may well come to something at a later date. I’ve got a number of projects in the pipeline for 2019 and am very excited about them.

    9. Friendships
    It has been an important year for friends. I am fortunate to have different groups in different places and being able to meet new people and learn what they are about is one of the many joys in my life. I have a league of fantastic memories with old friends and have been able to cultivate new friendships. In December last year I asked someone I kind of knew if she would come last-minute Christmas shopping with me at Big Tesco and now Poppy is the person who knows what I am thinking before I know it myself. I also reconnected with Jaz and our friendship has flourished as a result, spending an awful lot of time drinking coffee and judging everyone else.
    Through Laughter Academy I have made a number of important friendships I now wonder how I survived without. Being able to talk about writing with Lewis, sharing music with Ash and chuffing well adoring Jess for being amazing have been great additions to my 2018. I was also fortunate enough to appear in a number of improv shows including a 24-hour improvathon with an amazing cast and I feel like our PTSD bonded us in a way others will never understand. This is of course on top of spending time with Luke, George, Benjy, Lee, Ross, Ross, Hollie, Sam, Cat, John, Ali, Olly and everyone else.
    I got to meet my friend Lottie after being Internet-only friends for a number of years. Spending time with her, her parents, Sophie and Steve was great fun and they made me feel very welcome in their home, even when I had to pass out on their floor drunk.
    I got to spend more time with Scott including seeing Iggy Pop, Arcade Fire and Queens Of The Stone Age together. Eventually we will get that podcast started.
    Through work I also made some great new connections, especially Kane and Laura. I also made a series of new friends in February when I visited York to watch the Super Bowl half-time show while everyone else seemed more involved in an American football game that was on the same night. As a result I was dragged into a Fantasy Football league that has taught me a lot about what nerds they are.
    Through my travels I connected with a number of people and hope that I’m able to visit them in 2019.
    If you’re reading through and don’t feel that I’ve captured our relationship that came to fruition in 2018 then this comment is for you. You’re fucking special too.

    10. India
    In my most obnoxious Eat Pray Love move to date, I spent a couple of weeks travelling around India in September/October. That trip included time in Delhi, Rishikesh and Goa as well as an incredible trip on the Rajdhani Express. My thanks to Sally for the initial suggestion. I am pleased to report that the trip has continued to influence me and I remember every single day with nothing but joy. If you are considering going away and doing something different, especially if it’s on your own, then my advice is to go for it. I cannot believe the different ways the trip impacted me as a result of being away on my own. It taught me love, patience and pain and I don’t feel like I’ll ever settle down on the other side of it.

    Photos under 7 and 9 © Film Free Music Photography
    All others from my iPhone so technically mine.

  • Top Ten Films of 2018.

    The following is by no means a definite list.
    I definitely haven’t seen all of the films released this year so you can’t get mad at me for not including You Were Never Really Here in my list, because that’s all it is. It’s my list. I’ve also avoided seeing certain films because I don’t want to be disappointed with them. Anyway, here we are. My top ten films of 2018.
    It will also be stuffed with spoilers so this is your heads up.
    The following are in no particular order.

    Black Panther – What an absolute journey this was, and a film that came along at a very important time. For the longest period Marvel tried to blame the lack of a BP film on us as an audience. They said there wasn’t the interest, but my god, was there. With an incredible ensemble cast and only a couple of token/Tolkein white guys in the fray, it showed just how wrong the execs can get it and just how incredible a well-crafted story by an incredible director and cast can be. I hope this is the start of many more and it certainly helped to have Wakanda onside when Thanos came a-knockin’.

    Solo: A Star Wars Story – I know there were a league of issues with this film including script changes, director changes and cast changes but I enjoyed it enough to see it twice in the cinema so it can’t be all bad. It paid lip service where it needed to but it was also a pleasure to explore another area of the SW universe without a Skywalker in sight. It was what I wanted – a Star Wars heist movie and the additions of new characters worked for me. It might not have been as successful as other Star Wars offerings but will anything ever be? It’s a pretty good effort a fluffy-lookin’ nerf herder.

    Isle of Dogs – It might not be Wes Anderson’s best stop-motion feature (Imma let you finish but Fantastic Mr Fox was the best of all time) but this film put the biggest smile on my face. Another case of Anderson taking the wildest selection of an ensemble cast and producing absolute gold from it – see also: Moonrise Kingdom, Grand Budapest Hotel. Can we also take a moment to recognise Anjelica Huston’s credit as Mute Poodle. The pacing and music and characters were great. I was enthralled by the detail and decoration in every single shot. It was delightful.

    First Man – One of two films in my top ten that made me physically sick (“Mr Stark, I don’t feel so good” being the other). This had a beautiful blend of first-person action and an in-depth character analysis of the first man on the moon. Gosling was incredible, as was Claire Foy. I completely bought into their relationship and the costumes were a great highlight too. It’s incredible to watch now and realise how dangerous that trip was and what it meant to the world. It’s just a shame that it was all faked in a studio by Kubrick. I’m probably joking.

    Love, Simon – This film went above and beyond what I expected. It is very easy for a film involving a gay character to make a sad point about the struggles of being gay. While this had to feature it was so refreshing to see a gay love story in a Hollywood film. This played out like John Hughes himself had his adept hand in and I was in floods of tears by the closing scene on the Ferris Wheel. More of this in future please.

    Avengers: Infinity War – This is the other film to make me physically sick. How could anyone ever do that to Pete – the sick fucks responsible have a special circle of hell reserved for them now. Arguably the most anticipated film of 2018, it couldn’t help but deliver. It only takes one look at the absolute sprawl of a cast as they run into battle against Thanos’ army to realise that this was going to be something special. Every single aspect was beautifully orchestrated. They paid service to every character and it was nice to see characters we hadn’t seen interact in the MCU go tete-a-tete for the first time. Props to Thor and Star Lord for best comic pairing with Dr Strange and Tony Stark in a close second. It also left me with such a bleak sense of hopelessness that I can’t help but feel slightly concerned about the approach of Endgame in 2019. What a journey.
    It was also a wonderful achievement for a friend of mine who worked on the film and attend a special screening for the crew involved. For over a decade he has wanted to break into the industry and I am immensely proud of him for having absolutely smashed his first appearance in film with this. The scene where Spiderman is on the doughnut spaceship (I’m sorry but I can’t do actual comic book words today) and his suit flicks over all shiny and cool, yeah, that shot was him on the CGI ones and twos. I’m so, so here for that. Well done Luke.

    A Quiet Place – What a true surprise this little film was, and I’m excited to hear they’re working on a sequel already (please don’t fuck it up). I should have realised that Blunt and Krasinski were not going to put their names to anything turgid. It speaks volumes that this is the only horror film to make it into my list (I haven’t seen Hereditary and have seen The Nun, so don’t even start). This was so clever and understated in the tradition of horror and I couldn’t help but suck my own breath down and draw my hand over my mouth. It’s brilliant storytelling and it just goes to show you that kids are loud and obnoxious even when death is in the air.

    Mission Impossible: Fallout – How how how how how is this the sixth film in a franchise and so good? I’m sure that goes against some kind of film law. Another great cast pulling off something spectacular. There’s something otherworldly about Tom Cruise. It’s very easy to knock him but there is nobody out there doing the things that he does, taking those risks and living as a character in the same way. That failed jump in London set up Fallout as the film we all knew we wanted to see – where Cruise fell out of things. Every time you thought there was no way they could top the action and it had to plateau, they piled it on anew. Henry Cavill and his non-CGI’d moustache were a great addition and anything Simon Pegg does is fine by me.

    Bohemian Rhapsody – It feels to me as though people had made their minds up about BoRhap as we are apparently calling it. There were issues with the script and with the cast and with Queen and then it all came together. I challenge you to find anyone who took to a role in the way Rami Malek did with Mercury this year. He was absolutely spellbinding. I bought it all, even the teeth. He was powerful and vulnerable and fabulous in turn. I know the timeline was off but time is an invention of man and I will let them throw all of Queen’s hits at a wall and see what sticks if this is the result. It was sublime and ridiculous. It was We Will Rock You (the musical, not the song) but without Ben Elton. It did what it needed to do and I was drawn in and certain that I should grow a moustache by the time the film ended. I also cried for the final twenty minutes, an incredible feat considering my heart is a shard of ice on a string.

    Widows – I did not think I would enjoy this film as much as I did. There, I said it. I assumed there would be a lot more focus on Liam Neeson and his fifty-thousand thieves as they skulked around Chicago with bags of swags. It is to the benefit of the film that they’re blown up in the opening scene (not a spoiler). Viola Davis, Elizabeth Debicki and Michelle Rodriguez then absolutely own it. This film is everything that Ocean’s 8 should have been (you will now note that Ocean’s 8 did not make the cut). It didn’t feel the need to unnecessarily provide exposition or detail of the end heist. We were shown what that money would mean to those women without them saying anything. They were absolutely badass and the twists and turns were a welcome surprise for me. It goes without saying that I now have a massive crush on Debicki. I don’t want to cheapen this post but I will – if I could be sentenced to death by snu-snu then I would want her to be my executioner.

  • Listen…

    We live in an age when we have access to all the entertainment we could ever need. It can be a little overwhelming. At the start of the year I realised that I was drifting away from the music I actually owned and committing more of my time to streaming through Apple Music and Spotify. In fact, Spotify have just dropped their Wrapped details which give a breakdown of statistics on your listening activity for the year. Here are my highlights:

    In an effort to ensure I was still engaging with the music I owned, I decided to listen to every song I have. I took two letters of the alphabet (starting with A and B in January, C and D in February and so on) to listen through every song I have and ensure that I appreciate it. It’s a library that dates back to my university days so some of the albums are particularly choice (here’s to you Pigeon Detectives, Courteeners, The View).
    It was a nice opportunity to dig through my own past and to engage with songs and bands that I hadn’t heard in a long time. I know the age of access means we don’t need to “own” music, but all of the music I own reminds me of particular nights out or gigs or partners.
    Somehow, I got ahead of myself so the breakdown of the alphabet across the year ended in November because I was able to double up a couple of months.

    Take the time to go back and read an old book or listen to an album from start to finish. It might just surprise you.

    For now though, I leave you with this:

  • Throwing myself into it.

    This month I have really got into performing improvised comedy. It’s been seven years since I was first tricked into taking a class and then suckered into taking part in a show. Now, for some reason, I’m taking to it.
    I can’t help but think taking part in a 24-hour show at the start of the month forced my hand. Since then, the idea of performing has got slightly less terrifying. Don’t get me wrong, I still have to hide in the toilets and have a word with myself before any show but there’s something new about it that I have thoroughly enjoyed. I feel very lucky to get to spend time with the people who make up Laughter Academy. I feel loved and supported and I’ve kissed more of them than I care to mention. It has really made me appreciate how important improv and the people in that world are to me. I am so thankful that a lot of my social engagements involve this fine set of people and that it just continues to grow.

    I have had the pleasure of being a bell hop, the illegitimate son of Sabrina The Teenage Witch, an Ironing Championships commentator, a film noir Titanic superfan in an audition and plenty more besides.

    I would like to thank everyone I have had the pleasure of performing alongside, especially those who have just done their first showcases after just ten weeks of classes. I also need to thank everyone who came to see me in the two shows I got to take part in.

    Until next year, here’s my best bits, courtesy of Clarissa @ Film Free Photography.








  • Life, uh, finds a way

    There are many phrases I would use to describe myself as a child. Chief amongst them would be scaredy cat. I went through a phase of waking up in the night and going from room to room, checking on my siblings and my parents to make sure they were still breathing. I was scared of everything. I didn’t like the way the stairs creaked late at night. I was creeped out by the way the hands floated in The Handymen section of Zzzap! My biggest fear was E.T. It still takes me a second to remember that I’m not scared of ET when the little turd jumps up on my TV. I once spent two therapy sessions watching ET to try and get over my fear. I was 25 years old and I paid £80 to watch a film about an extra-terrestrial.

    Because I was such a scaredy cat, my parents were protective about the films they would expose me to. I didn’t see a lot of classic horror films until I was much older than my friends.

    One of the films that I really wanted to see was Jurassic Park. It was all anyone at school was talking about. I was seven, about this high *points at hip level*. Everyone seemed to have action figures. I desperately wanted to see it. The deal was, I could watch Jurassic Park, if I could make it through ET. I have a memory of being physically restrained to be shown ET. In my mind it was like the Ludovico Treatment in A Clockwork Orange. This might not have been my parents’ finest hour when it came to ridding me of my fears. I didn’t make it through ET. I can remember wrenching myself free of the restraints and running upstairs. Needless to say, I didn’t get to see Jurassic Park.

    Cue 2018. Arguably, I’m an adult. The real secret is that I’m just a six foot tall child. It’s a very clever disguise. It’s one step above a pair of children, one on the other’s shoulders, inside a long coat. My lovely friend Benjy asked if I wanted to go to a special screening of Jurassic Park at the Prince Charles cinema in Leicester Square. It was being shown on 35mm and would be as close to seeing it in 1993 as I was likely to get, apart from being slightly better dressed in those days. I jumped the chance. 

    I feel I should state now that I have seen Jurassic Park. I’ve seen all of them, as a functioning adult. I knew what was coming and I was totally there for it. In the words of Kevin McCallister, “I’m not afraid anymore.”

    We arrived late for the cinema, as is the fashion, and met up with Poppy and Dom. The four of us hustled inside to get out of the rain and I made Poppy buy me popcorn. We sat in the back row like we were all going to make out with each other and I got to enjoy Jurassic Park as it was supposed to be seen. In bitty, grainy darkness, with popcorn and everyone enjoying every single moment of it.

    The biggest cheer went up for the shot of Goldblum as Dr Ian Malcolm reclining unnecessarily with his shirt open during a meeting. I saw Poppy leave her seat when the velociraptor attacked Ellie and the kid actors were not as annoying as any of us remembered. 

    I guess the important thing here is to do something every day that scared you. I got to do something that once terrified me. To be able to do it as an almost-functioning adult, to realise that you’re going to be okay and that you have got this is an important distinction to be able to make with your adult brain. So no matter what you’re going through, just remember, that you have got this.

    Photo by Poppy Adams.

  • An Open Letter to Tim Rop (Bellhop)

    Dear Tim,

    I am sorry we had to part so soon. I would like to thank you for occupying my body for a day. It was really something. I just wanted to take the time to talk about what you went through and how awesome it was for me to be a part of Southend’s first 24 hour improvathon.

    Do you remember when we thought we could get through a whole day pretending to be Russian with just a GCSE History-level of knowledge about Russia? That was silly, wasn’t it.
    The first moment that stands out is when Ali (in her infinite wisdom as the genius director behind all this) made us walk across the backs of the rest of the cast as they formed a staircase up through the hotel. We spoke about whatever came to mind, which just so happened to be Red Square – which we then split into the colour and the shape.

    For about eight hours, any time we were onstage, we carried that suitcase with us. I kind of wish I’d had the foresight to empty it beforehand because it didn’t take long before we were awfully sweaty.
    Then, for the sweet love of everything that kept us going, we were saved from being the daft comic relief in a comedy show by a bit of story development. We owe a huge debt of thanks to John for stepping in as Mr Luggage and to Alice for insisting that there was more to Tim than just a bad Russian accent.

    From there, with the help of a serious lack of sleep, all of the cast, our characters and the storyline descended into the surreal. We did some excellent stage kissing and suddenly I was hosting a Q&A with a roomful of children. You told them about Richard Gere’s penchant for gerbils and we could all sense the tension in the room.
    Then we got some really cute scenes with Tabitha that secured you, Tim Rop: Bellhop, as one of the nation’s favourite improvisational characters.
    The pair of us survived the final battle by hiding behind a curtain and boom, it was over. Our time together was done and the last glimmer of a Russian accent disappeared from me.

    So thank you Tim Rop, but thank you to Ali and Cat and Jess and Jim and Clare. Thank you to Beatrice and Blossom and Mr Luggage. Thank you to Dirk, Sedgley, Madame Lavinia, Charlie Chaplin, Albrecht Von Fuckenshischt, Lois, Sister David Mary, Myrtle, Paulie, Margot, Angelique, Dusty, Cleo, Greg, Olivier, Agnes, Jack, Joe, James, Edith, Samuel, Violet, Dick, Max, Dr Rance, Marcus, Sarah, Duck Monster, Tallulah, Captain Hank and Edmure Demure. I’m sure we were all other things and characters. I haven’t laughed that much for a long time and I am grateful to you all for your nonsense.
    I am really proud to have been a part of it and it is only now, as I slowly pull myself from the wreckage that I am so thankful for all of this.

    Thank you for your time.

    Paul Schiernecker

    Photo by Film Free Photography.

  • Adventure

    I try to be a good influence.
    I try not to let on, especially to the children in my life (godchildren, niece, nephew, cousins), that I am a terrible role model. Imagine my surprise when last weekend I was presented with my godson Toby’s first story, which is to be published in a collection. He insisted on reading it to me. I wish I could recreate the passion with which he read it back to me. He’s a true performer and a true artist.
    See below:
    One day, there was a jungle. It was deep, dark and scary, but when it was day, it was a beautiful jungle.
    “Huh, what’s this? Is it a snake?” said the jungle explorer. The snake was a little snake.
    But one day, there was a lion. It saw a snake. Oh no, it was that snake! That green one. The lion bit the green, pretty snake on the tail and what happened? The snake chased the lion into a large, scary snake. Was it a cobra? Yes it was! It had venom and it squirted the venom on the lion. But, oh my gosh, the lion did not die. The lion was terrified, but how lucky he was not to die. The next day, he was very tired so he ran away from the snake. He was now very happy. Now he would hunt for something else for his dinner, maybe a rhino and a giraffe.
    So he set off and soon he was back in the jungle. He caught two buffalo, five giraffes, seven rhinos and one elephant. He was so full and so tired, so he ran so fast home that he nearly exploded.

    I have so many questions but I didn’t want the artist to dissect his work too much. We can all take from it whatever we choose.

    How incredible it is, that in 2018, immersed in a world of Pokemon Go, Nintendo Switch, Panini football stickers, maths homework, the goodie cupboard, fighting with his siblings and convincing me that his parents let him do the thing he is trying to do while I’m babysitting, Toby (aged 7) is interested in writing. I have never let him read anything I’ve written (because he’s at least a decade too young) but it is good to see that in some way, he has absorbed some of Uncle Paul’s positivity.

Paul Schiernecker

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